Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
king rest and enjoying life are essential for everyone. A group of
people
think that people
have to not continue their career
after reaching their Fix the agreement mistake
careers
age
of retirement
. I agree that people
should stop working after reaching the age
of retirement
. This
essay will discuss some reasons why people
should do this
.
When people
reached their retirement
age
, they should enjoy their lives and spend the remaining time
with their families. Parents devote most of their time
in order to fulfill
their requirements and responsibilities Replace the word
fulfilling
particularly
for their children. Add the comma(s)
,particularly
Therefore
, they do not entertain themselves or enhance and strength
Replace the word
strengthen
Correct article usage
the family’s
family’s
bond. When they retired, it is the best Change noun form
family
time
to do these things and try to enjoy their lives. For example
, the majority of Jordanian
when they reached the Fix the agreement mistake
Jordanians
age
of 60 years, they
devote all their Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
with
families and Change preposition
to
pursue
their hobbies.
Taking rest from Wrong verb form
pursuing
work
plays a symbolic role in preventing chronic diseases. Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
work
can lead to increase stress level
and Fix the agreement mistake
levels
this
could impact negatively on
Change preposition
apply
people
’s health and wellbeing
. Correct your spelling
well-being
In addition
to that, aged people
are vulnerable to get
diseases more than Wrong verb form
getting
young
generation especially when they face problems and stressors. For that reason, older Correct article usage
the young
people
should not pursue their career
when they retired from their Fix the agreement mistake
careers
work
. A research
Remove the article
Research
that
conducted in the US about getting chronic diseases for Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
who work
after retirement
, it
has shown above 60% of Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
are prone to get Hypertension and Diabetes Meletus who work
after retirement
.
In conclusion, I am convinced that people
should not do lifelong work
and they have to take rest in order to maintain their lives and improve family’s relationship.Submitted by ahmadalshraa1515 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite