IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is argued that the parents of children who break the rules should be punished in some ways as parents are responsible for the children's actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals frequently put the blame for juvenile delinquency on their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, from my perspective, exerting discipline on
parents
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 for their children’s wrongdoings is not sensible because every individual is responsible for their own actions. It is undeniable that mothers and fathers must take accountability for their children’s
malpractice
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misbehaviour
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 since they are role models for their offspring from the earliest days of their lives. It could be true that juveniles’ misbehaviours, which violate the law, may stem from the observation of their
parents
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. And since adolescents are acutely sensitive, they can be affected
straightforwardly
Rephrase
directly
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.
For example
Linking Words
, if
parents
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 are offenders who cheat others for money, their children would
suppose
Verb problem
consider
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 it
as
Change preposition
apply
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normal and
consequently
Linking Words
 commit the same crime in possible cases in the future. Despite the aforementioned arguments, I hold the belief that
should
Correct word order
punishments should
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 not be imposed
punishments
Correct word order
apply
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on their
parents
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 when their offspring commit an offence. The first reason can be attributed to individuals’ responsibility for their actions. And each person is a separate individual engaging in a myriad of activities.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is morally wrong and may foster resentment and ill will toward innocent individuals. Another point worth mentioning is that adolescents are influenced by not only their
parents
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 other factors
such
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 as their peers or anti-social content on the Internet. Frequent exposure to toxic friends at school or violent topics on social media,
for example
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, will be a key factor in illicit behaviours, which could be the potential root of
crime-committing
Use the right word
criminal
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 activities.
Thus
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, it is reasonable to assume that other parties should share responsibility for children who break the law. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 will be at the core of setting examples for their offspring, I am of the opinion that it is unreasonable to accuse them of their children’s dirty deeds because of individual liability for their actions and other influential parties.

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task response
Say your view clearly in the first line and restate it at the end.
coherence
Make one main idea per paragraph and use simple links to show how ideas fit.
grammar
Use short, direct sentences and check grammar to keep the form clean.
examples
Give one clear example and explain how it supports your point.
content
Clear view on the issue.
structure
Good flow of ideas and some good examples.
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