IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries, people are having children at later age in life. What are the reasons? Do the advantage outweigh disadvantages?

#countries #people #children #age #life #advantage
In today's world childbirth is a huge problem for most
women
.Individuals are more inclined towards making their career than
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving birth to a child.Adapting
this
 method has more negative impacts than
positive
Correct pronoun usage
onespositive
show examples
.
Firstly
, the reproductive age of a woman lies between 14yrs to 40yrs.Focusing on late childbirth has caused a rise in the infertility rate.
Women
 undergo menopause early so they need to conceive early.Late born child brings many risks to the mother like,physical weakness and mental depression.
For instance
,it has been reported that
women
 are developing many obstetric and gynaecological problems as their age advances.PCOS
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has been reported as the most common cause of infertility with advancing age,so doctors are recommending parents plan their family early to avoid
such
 issues. On the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
contrary there are some advantages of late pregnancy.Girls should not be forced to marry early
instead
 they should be encouraged to study
further
 and become independent.In doing so they will be capable of looking after their kids and giving them a bright future.
For example
,many individuals who have persuaded their higher degrees and
then
 married have been shown to give a healthy and good life to their future kids.
To conclude
,
although
 the merits of late birthing
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 completing their studies
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
we cannot ignore the demerits it brings and its number has been enormously increasing.The biggest threat it causes risks to the mother and many
women
 become infertile by the time they even think of becoming a parent.In my ,opinion
women
 should plan early to become parents than
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
wait till they become independent.
Submitted by mudassir1219 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: