IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table and pie chart illustrate populations in Australia according to different nationalities and areas. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and pie chart illustrate populations in Australia according to different nationalities and areas. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#populations #australia #nationalities #areas #information #features #comparisons
A glance at the pie chart provided reveals the proportion of individuals from different nationalities,
while
 supplied table depicts the percentages of urban and countryside citizens in Australia.
Overall
,
according to
 the pie chart given
it is clear that
 the largest sector of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
is belonged
Change to the active voice
belongs
has belonged
show examples
 to natives,
Correct word choice
while
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the minority of fraction is noticed in Dutch. It is noticeable from the table that
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
show examples
 are urbanized mostly and at the same time, they make up the lowest proportion of people living in
rural
Add an article
a rural
the rural
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. Turning to the pie chart,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
illustrates the populace of Australia,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
, New
Zealander
Fix the agreement mistake
Zealanders
show examples
, Chinese, Dutch and others. 73% which is the biggest amount among others is registered in Australians. The next hugest sectors are seen in British and other nationalities, attracting 7% and 14% respectively.
Furthermore
, the population of the country in Australia which hit the bottom is Dutch and registered as 1%.
On the other hand
,
Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
show examples
 make up the majority of humans who are living in
urban
Add an article
an urban
the urban
show examples
 area and only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one hundredth
Add a hyphen
one-hundredth
show examples
 of them
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in villages. Natives are
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top of the list of rural
habitants
Correct your spelling
habitats
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
indicating 20%. Via presenting 90%,
New
Change preposition
of New
show examples
 Zealanders are onwards
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
residents who live in metropolises.
Submitted by chartakinnovation on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!