IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home

#people #schools #children #information #internet #study #home
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The World is getting
Correct quantifier usage
more advance
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advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 day by day. People used to
study
Use synonyms
 in
schools
Use synonyms
 and universities
however
Linking Words
 it is being shifted to online classes with the help of the internet and all material is available online for easy access.
While
Linking Words
 some people think it is not a positive development, I think it is a great opportunity for everyone to
study
Use synonyms
.
Schools
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 are important for giving
education
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 to children. Internet is making it easy and cheap to access a higher level of
education
Use synonyms
 from home
whereas
Linking Words
schools
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 are so expensive to afford
Change preposition
for
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people as more than half of the population is living below the poverty line.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of courses that are available online from the world's known
schools
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 and universities and admission fees are way less than the institute in the local area. The internet can replace
schools
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 online. Local
schools
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 need to have a lot of highly educated teachers in almost all areas of the
education
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 stream as all kids do not have the same interest. Some of the learners are not able to get higher
education
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in addition
Linking Words
 to not having the subject in the local
schools
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 and it is expensive to travel far away from home every day. As the result, online
study
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 is preferred by most children nowadays. In conclusion, as the world is changing in all kinds of ways, the old system of
education
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 like
schools
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 are needed to change
as well as
Linking Words
 it is not cheap and
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 have the properly educated teachers to provide
study
Use synonyms
 in all streams.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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