IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

#countries #home #people
In Asian traditional culture, a quote, “having land is equal to having wealth,” significantly reveals the enthusiasm for real estate. Buying a
house
 is integral to becoming an adult, so it’s essential for citizens.
While
 there are some advantages to the situation, I still believe the demerits overshadow the merits. The prominent reason to see the own-your-home culture as a threat is that it will soar the real estate's
price
. And
this
 issue causes social problems.
Firstly
, the continuously higher
price
 will make houses become invested objects than a place to use, either for business or living.
For example
, in Hsinchu, there are many new apartments which be held by some landlords, but no people really live in them. These landlords are waiting for the higher
price
 to receive more revenue, but it causes young families can’t have their own homes.
Secondly
, higher
house
price
 result in fewer newborns.
Although
 there is no direct regulation to ask a man who wants to get married needs has his own living site, it is still a potential restriction in traditional culture.
For instance
, in Taiwan, the higher and higher
price
 of apartments, houses, and other possible living sites make
marriage
Add an article
the marriage
show examples
 become a difficult task for couples and cause lower and lower birth rates every year. It is true that people tend to hold their own
house
 may lead to some advantages. The habit of saving might be the obvious one. When people need to prepare a large number of funds to buy their own
house
, they usually have to learn how to use their money carefully.
Also
, the higher saving rate will assist the financial environment well.
That is
 why Asian countries have higher saving rates.
To conclude
, even though the idea of owning a
house
 has some merits, the massive disadvantages pale the advantages away.
Submitted by andersontsaitw on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: