IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

It is claimed that financial rewards provide the most motivation for an employee to be loyal to the same workplace. I totally disagree with that opinion because most working
people
Use synonyms
 favour stability over
change
Use synonyms
 and great career prospects and the intimate relationships with colleagues a person can have are what mainly keep him in his
job
Use synonyms
. The first reason why high salaries are not what encourage staff members of an organization to work for it permanently is that stability, rather than
change
Use synonyms
, is preferable to most
people
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 to ,say as human beings, we are inherently resistant to
change
Use synonyms
, and changing a
job
Use synonyms
 even for a more handsome income entails changing our living surroundings and lifestyles, which is no mean feat.
That is
Linking Words
 why a majority of workers in Vietnam, blue-collar and white-collar alike, would rather stay in a
job
Use synonyms
 than apply for a new one.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can be said that it is employees’ refusal to
change
Use synonyms
, rather than the huge monetary assistance they receive, that keeps them in their jobs.
Further
Linking Words
 support for my disagreement with money being the key motivation is that excellent
job
Use synonyms
 prospects and good rapport with fellow workers play a more important role in an employee’s loyalty to a company. Many
people
Use synonyms
 stay in their jobs because they can still climb up their career ladder to unlock their potential.
That is
Linking Words
 to ,say only when a person is entrusted with new responsibilities will he often cultivate new skills and knowledge to complete
such
Linking Words
 tasks, turning him into a better version of himself.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 may have
such
Linking Words
 strong bonds with other colleagues that they find it hard to work for another company.
As a result
Linking Words
, staying will provide them with not only
job
Use synonyms
 security but
also
Linking Words
 happiness when working with familiar members. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the idea that money is the driving force behind a person’s commitment to a company because of most employees’ aversion to
change
Use synonyms
 and their need to grow and to be loved in the same cordial workplace.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: