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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

demand for food is increasing worldwide. whats the cause of this? what measures can the international community take to meet these demands?

#demand #food #whats #measures #community #demands
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One of the predictable menace
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 for the future is scarcity. And
statictics
Correct your spelling
statistics
 show that year by year demand for meals is rising. There are some reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 huge global problem that
threated
Correct your spelling
threatens
threaten
threatened
 our planet. Primarily the significant
developing
Replace the word
development
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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medicine caused
of
Change preposition
apply
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the longevity of humanity.
For example
Linking Words
, the latest
statictics
Correct your spelling
statistics
 show that
average
Correct article usage
the average
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 life span
Change the verb form
is
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are increase
Change the verb form
increases
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 to 65 years
respectivily
Correct your spelling
respectively
to
Change preposition
for
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male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 it is
good
Add an article
a good
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change
Add the particle
to change
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 for people but
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 it can create
big
Add an article
a big
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 difference between borns and deaths. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 in the big countries as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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Chine about
abonding
Correct your spelling
abounding
bonding
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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birth.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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forbidded
Correct your spelling
forbids
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
Change preposition
from having
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having
Change the verb form
to have
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 more than one child. The big countries who have a lot of
populitian
Correct your spelling
population
 can experiment
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 method
on
Change preposition
in
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 their community. Secondarily, wastage of food
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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metropolitian
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
 cities is increased by the amount of
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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resteraunts
Correct your spelling
restaurants
, hotels, shopping malls
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc.
Although
Linking Words
 the level of poverty does not change
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
positivily
Correct your spelling
positively
positive
 side.
Find
Wrong verb form
Finding
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to
Correct article usage
a to
show examples
solution
Add an article
the solution
a solution
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of
Change preposition
apply
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decreasing
waste
Correct article usage
the waste
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 of meals and water as a
reduce
Change the verb form
reduced
show examples
 amount of
abovemnetioned
Correct your spelling
abovementioned
 places can help to protect from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scarcity. In conclusion,
controling
Correct your spelling
controlling
 of birth and
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
to
Change preposition
against
show examples
 wastage can help
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
meet
such
Linking Words
 a problem as a lack of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
.
Submitted by humaynew on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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