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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some peoplethink it is a better way to leave their home country toimprove their work and living opportunities, while others think staying in theirown country is a better choice. Discuss both viewsand give your own opinion.

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The connotation of globalization never fails to sparkle
people
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's heated debate surrounding striving in another
country
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. In the contemporary age, a number of
people
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 stubbornly cling to the view that leaving the motherland for another nation is more accessible to high-quality life and high-paid jobs, but some hold the opposite viewpoint. In my perspective, convincing arguments and well-organized evidence would be displayed below for the sake of supporting the central idea that better opportunities for work and living are provided via moving to another
country
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. In term of the substantive level, the reason mentioned below seems to be advisable and deserve more consideration, fewer and lower-salary occupations are provided in the home
country
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. On the
one
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side
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, it is difficult for some folk who are born in a large-population
country
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 to find a suitable job. It can be best exemplified that more than ten million student graduates from universities in
China
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 every year, but there are not enough jobs though. Leading to numerous college students struggling to live by setting up stalls in the market and
this
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 behaviour is encouraged and widely spared on social media. It seems like a signal that the government has no capability to cope with the problem of redundant workforces. On the other
side
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, compared with developed countries, the average wage in
China
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 is far lower. By which I mean, extensively, 2021 research by Beijing University found that the average remuneration in
China
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 is only 47.43% of that in developed countries. Under
this
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 circumstance, emigration might be the better option. Another factor that should be taken into consideration is that it would be more secure to move to a foreign
country
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 with a low crime rate. On the
one
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 hand, if someone is born in a
country
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 that allows citizens to legally hold firearms, their life and safety are more likely to be threatened. Putting it into detail, a 2022 study conducted by the University of Chicago features prominently, as it indicates that more than 85000 shooting incidents happened in America in the year 2021. Apparently, guns contribute to more violence and crimes.
On the other hand
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, living in a low crime rate
country
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 can enhance the sense of security.
For instance
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, many foreign
people
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 move to
China
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 since
China
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 is
one
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 of the most secure countries in the world. The strictest firearms control laws are set to prevent violence in
China
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.
Furthermore
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, the toughest enforcement agencies are established to ensure every criminal is punished and to deter potential violent behaviours.
Therefore
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, life and possessions are extremely protected by immigrating to a low crime rate
country
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.
People
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 rarely reach an absolute consensus on a
such
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 controversial issue. The other
side
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 of the coin has voiced strong opposition, saying that it is difficult to deal with homesickness for some migrants. On the
one
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side
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, the homeland has maintained too many memories and relationships. It is difficult to access them, though, because of time lag and distance. On the other
side
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, deep relationships cannot be easily established in a new environment
due to
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 the variance of culture and thinking.
However
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, compared with the aforementioned advantages, the personal emotional issue is worth to be overcome. Taking into account all these factors, we wholeheartedly safely come to the conclusion that better opportunities for work and living are provided via moving to another
country
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. Both governments and ordinary citizens should join hands to establish harmonious international relations through cultural communication or trade.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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