some people say is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#people #cultures #ages

Music

is an essential part of everyone’s life.

Therefore

some melodies could become incredibly popular and singers turn out to be famous on the world stage.

According to

this

, certain people assume that

music

is a great way to make a bond between various cultures and generations.I totally agree with

this

thought.I will break down my reasons in the following paragraphs.

To begin

, singing is an art in the field of sounds.Nowadays, lots of cultures have their own musical instruments and ,

accordingly

Add a comma

,accordingly

show examples

they have traditional songs.There is

also

a tendency for cultural exchange through the tunes.

For instance

, the Department of Kazakhstan wants to distribute cultural heritage by encouraging people who arrange

music

concerts abroad.By the fact I wanted to say that melody might be the aspect of society that could bring cultures together. On other hand, musical taste in comparison to the younger and older generations is completely different.

However

, there are melodies

such

as pop songs and classics that can make a close link between the ages.

For example

, many minors like to visit concerts with their grandparents, where old-fashioned tunes are playing.

Moreover

, there are a lot of examples of parents who want to keep up with their kids so they to

tolisten

Correct your spelling

listen

to listen

Change preposition

to a

show examples

modern genre and be keen on it.

Finally

, it seems to be obvious that

music

can create a close link between the generations.

To sum up

, musical compositions are widespread and diverse

due to

this

they can unite folks and several ages together,

subsequently

I think

tune

Fix the agreement mistake

tunes

show examples

can assist society from different parts of the world and different ages to connect to each other and have a good time despite all differences.

Submitted by yerlan_newlife15 on Wed Apr 12 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people say is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Many psycologists recommet that the best way to relieve stress is to do nothing at all for a period of time during the day. State you opinion on this.

Some people prefer to directly help or support people who need it in the local community. However, others prefer to give money to the national or international charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give your opinion.