Nowdays , many people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news, do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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these days , most
people
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are using social
media
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to connect with their relatives and to get the latest
news
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.
this
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essay will illustrate how the advantages of
this
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trend outweigh the disadvantages. To start with , it is
fact
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a fact
the fact
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to say
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apply
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that social
media
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changed our lifestyle especially , the way of connecting with
people
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, it makes keeping our different relations easier in touch .
For example
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,
people
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can find their old friends from school days without effort just by using some application like Facebook or
tweeter
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Twitter
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,
also
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they can share their life with others regardless of the
far
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apply
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distance between them.
Moreover
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, social
media
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is considered a huge source of broadcast particularly , when most broadcast channels have their private site on social
media
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, and everyone can reach the latest
news
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just with his smartphone in seconds .
On the other hand
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, everything has benefits , but there are some drawbacks to
this
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trend.
Firstly
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, when one uses social
media
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to keep in touch with his relations or share his privet life with them , he will violate his privacy and make others know everything about him which may be risky in some cases.
In addition
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, depending on social
media
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to be aware broadcasts may have their downside too ,
for example
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,
people
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will receive a huge amount of
news
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from different sources and many of them spread false data that may confuse the
news
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seekers. In conclusion , in spite of the all downsides of social
media
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, in my opinion , the way of using them is controllable and depends on the person himself , and I strongly believe that the advantages of social
media
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outweigh the disadvantages.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to expand your points and enhance your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more fluidly by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure accurate spelling and grammar throughout your essay; minor errors can distract the reader from your key points.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively states the main idea of the essay, and the conclusion summarizes your stance clearly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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