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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think success can be seen in the amount of hard work and determination. Others measure one’s success through money and appearance Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There are differing views about what influential
factors
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 make a difference in one’s
success
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.
While
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 some argue that
success
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 can be achieved through dedication and perseverance, others believe that wealth and beauty are crucial
factors
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 to be successful. I, personally,
in
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am in
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favor
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favour
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 of the former view. On the one hand, it is apparent that there are several reasons why some
people
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 are gaining popularity by means of money and appearance. From a social standpoint, today, many
people
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 tend to measure one’s
success
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 with these qualities, seeing as there is an obvious distinction between modern famous
people
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 and those who were in the past.
In other words
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, anyone has a wide range of opportunities of being famous and successful without any
hard-work
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hard work
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.
For instance
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, with the advent of developments in many disciplines, many well-known
people
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 have a tendency of undergoing several surgery operations in order to attract audiences from social media.
Additionally
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, rather than being humble
person
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people
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, they always would like to show their wealthy lifestyle
such
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 as a good house with desirable amenities, the latest car collections, high standards of living so on.
However
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, in a reality, they are likely to possess
such
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the
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apply
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wealth from their family members.
On the other hand
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, I believe that
the
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apply
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success
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 can only be permanent if it is achieved
by
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in
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 inspirational and determined manner. No matter what major
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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people
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 choose, hard work and devotion can arguably make them master
of
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apply
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their job. In
this
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 sense,
people
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 are likely to gain long-lasting respect, which can strengthen their confidence in many situations.
In addition
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 to being professional in any field, so-called ‘’real successful
people
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’’ are likely given a chance to make a fortune through their skills and knowledge, which
considered
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are considered
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 to be the most important
factors
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of
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in
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 achieving
a
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apply
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success
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. Undoubtedly, after fulfilling personal and career advances in life, they might
then
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 start to take care of their physical appearance. In conclusion, though one’s appearance and financial position are likely to seem as principal
factors
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 deciding
a
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apply
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success
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, the amount of hard work that
put
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is put
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 intuitively
on
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into
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 achievements should be taken
in
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into
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 account.

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