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Band 4

parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time in phycial activity.do you agree or disagree?

#parents #children #time #activity
Parents
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
encourage
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 kids to spend less time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying and more pattern
phycial
Correct your spelling
physical
 activity. I disagree
to to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 essay.
Firstly
, education is more important to our children
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 future. If they will not
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 more time
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 they will not achieve what they want in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 life. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, if the student
lock
Correct your spelling
lack
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowledge they will not take
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 dream job.
Secondly
,
phycial
Correct your spelling
physical
 activity they can do the same time
while
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
give more attention to education. In conclusion,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 level
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more important than
phycial
Correct your spelling
physical
 activity.
Submitted by tapiruwinlove on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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