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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show the malvern nature school campus in 1999 and development plans for 2029

The maps below show the malvern nature school campus in 1999 and development plans for 2029
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The maps depict how the
campus
Use synonyms
 of a nature
school
Use synonyms
 looked in 1999 and how it will look in 2029.
Overall
Linking Words
, the main differences are the expansion of the
school
Use synonyms
 buildings and the minimisation of the sports field
as well as
Linking Words
 the addition of a car park. In 1999, there were
two
Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
 buildings which were separated by a path. In 2029, the
two
Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
 buildings will be joined together and an additional third building will be added.
This
Linking Words
 new structure will be joined to the original
two
Use synonyms
 by a path. In 1999, there was only one car park which was located in the northwest of the
campus
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2029 there will be another parking lot added to the east of
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
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 building three. The sports field in the north will be removed to make way for the third
school
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 building and will be replaced by a smaller one in the east of the
campus
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.
Also
Linking Words
, the road in the west will be extended to cross across the
campus
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, run south of
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school
Add an article
the school
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 building
two
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 and join the new car park in the northeast

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words campus, school, two with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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