Some say that advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

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toys and snacks have significantly increased over the years. Many people believed that it has a substantial influence on

kids

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and adults and voiced out that these

adverts

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should be banned. In

this

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essay, I will talk about why I agree with banning the

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of toys and snacks. To start with, advertisements have been improving over the

last

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few decades. Marketing agents have utilised various ways of advertising from TV

adverts

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radio

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to radio

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and newspapers. There are plenty of

adverts

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that are directed to children

such

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as toys, snacks and clothing brands.

This

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can negatively impact

kids

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as they can copy and engage in unhealthy habits, attempt dangerous stunts and develop materialistic feelings.

For example

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, children who often see advertisements about sugary cereals marketed to their age group

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apply

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will tend to ask their parents to buy said cereal for them.

This

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is harmful, as it enables

kids

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to have an unbalanced meal for breakfast.

Also

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, parent-child conflict has increased

due to

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the rise of

adverts

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that target

kids

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8 years and below.

This

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due to

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the

kids

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feeling left out or throwing a tantrum for not getting what they wanted. On the other, some

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illustrates healthy habits that can help in encouraging

kids

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to exercise.

For example

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, in the Philippines, Milo has an

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that depicts the drink as the drink of the Olympians.

This

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type of

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can help encourage

kids

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to play sports or incorporate exercise into their daily routine.

Also

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, advertising to

kids

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can help them learn various topics in an age-appropriate manner.

To conclude

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, I reaffirm my position in banning advertisements as it significantly impacts all ages , especially

kids

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because of the negative impacts and consequences it creates.

estillorericamaeTue Aug 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to further develop the counterargument to provide a more balanced view before concluding with your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and sufficiently supports it.

task achievement

Add a few more relevant, specific examples to strengthen the points. This will help provide more concrete evidence for your arguments.

task achievement

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument before concluding with a clear position.

coherence cohesion

The introductory and concluding paragraphs are well-defined, setting up the essay and summarizing your stance effectively.

task achievement

Good use of a specific example, such as the sugary cereals and the Milo advertisement, to illustrate your points.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Some say that advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

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With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?

The use of corporal punishment (physical hitting students) in schools is in decline, yet it should be used to improve behavior. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?