Some say that advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #advertisements #snacks #toys #impact #children #parents #advertisement

toys and snacks have significantly increased over the years. Many people believed that it has a substantial influence on

kids

and adults and voiced out that these

adverts

should be banned. In

this

essay, I will talk about why I agree with banning the

of toys and snacks. To start with, advertisements have been improving over the

last

few decades. Marketing agents have utilised various ways of advertising from TV

adverts

radio

Fix the infinitive

to radio

show examples

and newspapers. There are plenty of

adverts

that are directed to children

such

as toys, snacks and clothing brands.

This

can negatively impact

kids

as they can copy and engage in unhealthy habits, attempt dangerous stunts and develop materialistic feelings.

For example

, children who often see advertisements about sugary cereals marketed to their age group

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will tend to ask their parents to buy said cereal for them.

This

is harmful, as it enables

kids

to have an unbalanced meal for breakfast.

Also

, parent-child conflict has increased

due to

the rise of

adverts

that target

kids

8 years and below.

This

due to

the

kids

feeling left out or throwing a tantrum for not getting what they wanted. On the other, some

illustrates healthy habits that can help in encouraging

kids

to exercise.

For example

, in the Philippines, Milo has an

that depicts the drink as the drink of the Olympians.

This

type of

can help encourage

kids

to play sports or incorporate exercise into their daily routine.

Also

, advertising to

kids

can help them learn various topics in an age-appropriate manner.

To conclude

, I reaffirm my position in banning advertisements as it significantly impacts all ages , especially

kids

because of the negative impacts and consequences it creates.

Submitted by estillorericamae on Tue Aug 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Try to further develop the counterargument to provide a more balanced view before concluding with your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and sufficiently supports it.

task achievement

Add a few more relevant, specific examples to strengthen the points. This will help provide more concrete evidence for your arguments.

task achievement

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument before concluding with a clear position.

coherence cohesion

The introductory and concluding paragraphs are well-defined, setting up the essay and summarizing your stance effectively.

task achievement

Good use of a specific example, such as the sugary cereals and the Milo advertisement, to illustrate your points.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that goverments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
most people think to take higher education is important for all student especially students with financial problem, the government also should make regulation for the youth from middle lower income family have access to university. In this essay I agree with all student can get access to university. However, students with good economic background should pay for it.
5.5
band
Some people believe that allowing childern to make their own choices on everyday matters (Such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuls who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for childern to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are different views among people about how we should raise and educate children in a efficient way to have an effective society in the future. Some argue that the most effective way is to take them the freedom of choices in their daily issues, while the opponents of this idea have various concerns about too individualised community in future and its problems which may arise. In my opinion the most effective method is to maintain a balanced view regarding this matter.
5
band
Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course in university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Nowadays the employment market is full of vacancies, where an educational degree can be either required or not even mentioned. It leads me to believe that employers are more oriented on personality traits and work experience.
8
band
In some cities public parks and open space are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, the transformation of public parks and open spaces into gardens allocated for local residents to cultivate their own fruits and vegetables has sparked considerable debate. This essay will analyze the positive and negative aspects of this trend, followed by an informed conclusion.
6
band
These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
The emergence of affordable and accessible transportation has undeniably transformed the way people travel. In contrast to the past, it is now significantly easier for individuals to explore diverse cultures and landscapes across the globe. While this development offers numerous benefits, it is essential to consider the potential drawbacks as well.

Some say that advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that goverments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course in university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

In some cities public parks and open space are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?