IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

People in many countries are spending less time with their families. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

#people #countries #time #families #effects
Spending few
time
 with family is remarkable among
individuals
 in different countries. There are many reasons for
this
 problem.
This
 essay will discuss the main reasons and effects of
this
 problem. First and foremost, working
people
 do not want to interrupt their careers with external factors
such
 as a family, a hobby, or a spare
time
 activity. They believe that focusing on a career requires lots of sacrifice and determination.
In addition
, women are spending their
time
 becoming successful at work. They have to put much more effort into their jobs rather than men.
Moreover
,
people
 use their free
time
 for their jobs
besides
 their
families
.
For instance
, many successful
people
 have complicated relationships with their
families
. They don't have enough
time
 to understand their needs and problems. Some of them decide to continue their marriage, but others already know the fact that they have to spend more
time
 with their
families
 ,
although
 they do not have enough
time
 for their
families
. The second major factor is that society realizes they do not have to continue their strong family bonds. There are other alternatives which can assist in talking with other
people
 easily on social media. It could be an alternative to a real family for them. Nowadays,
individuals
 do not share their problems with their
families
, and they prefer to share them with strangers.
Furthermore
, If they don't want to continue their conversation they can ignore it.
This
 opportunity makes family bonds weaker than they used to be. One of the crushing results is young
people
 can experience sexual harassment
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online without knowing anything. In conclusion,
individuals
 from different countries spend less
time
 with their
families
, focus on their own careers or spend their extra
time
 on social media. These reasons affect the family bonds of
individuals
 over
time
.
Submitted by historicalpen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demands of the workplace
  • digital technology
  • social media
  • individualism
  • erosion of family bonds
  • emotional distance
  • strain relationships
  • emotional support
  • negative impact
  • emotional, social, and academic challenges
  • neglected
  • guidance and support
  • stress and mental health issues
  • anxiety
  • depression
What to do next:
Look at other essays: