Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, some facilities for historic objects and artworks require visitors to pay an

admission

Use synonyms

fee. Some people think it

disturbs

Verb problem

distracts

show examples

them from having an interest in those

things

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion, its advantages

overweigh

Verb problem

outweigh

show examples

its

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

. On the one hand, those places cannot attract other people to visit. Generally, the public gets interested in remains or artworks after experiencing those

things

Use synonyms

in person.

However

Linking Words

, if users need to pay

money

Use synonyms

for entrance, they will not try to go inside, thinking it is a waste of

money

Use synonyms

Then

Linking Words

, museums and art galleries can earn

money

Use synonyms

from only

Correct word order

only from

show examples

individuals who are originally interested in

exhibited

Correct article usage

the exhibited

show examples

things

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, my friend named Eunseo has never visited those facilities.

This

Linking Words

is because she feels reluctant to pay

admission

Use synonyms

fees to see modern

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

that she does not have concerns about.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, owners of them need to earn

money

Use synonyms

to conserve

the

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

objects

Check wording

apply

show examples

in optimal conditions. The majority of historic records and

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

are sensitive, getting damaged easily in unsuitable environments.

Thus

Linking Words

, maintaining the appropriate

surrounding

Fix the agreement mistake

surroundings

show examples

needs

Verb problem

requires

show examples

a lot of

money

Use synonyms

, hard to be responsible for it alone.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a limitation of

money

Use synonyms

leads to a limited number of exhibited products.

For instance

Linking Words

, I visited two Joseon dynasty museums: one required me to pay an entrance fee; the other did not. Each ruin in the former one stayed in each container based on the appropriate temperature.

Also

Linking Words

, I could appreciate the larger number of ruins there. For these reasons,

admission

Use synonyms

fees are beneficial for owners

as well as

Linking Words

visitors. In conclusion, it is true that there is a con to charging

admission

Use synonyms

fees to enter those facilities.

However

Linking Words

, it is more advantageous for every person because owners can reduce their financial burden

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

people can enjoy a wide array of

things

Use synonyms

eunbi_0915

Apr 14, 2023

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development

Work on how you link ideas. Use clear topic sentences. Try to use more contrasts in your points.

grammar

Fix word use and grammar errors. Check spellings like 'outweigh'. Keep to simple words.

content

Give more details or examples for each point to be clear.

structure

Make the end a bit stronger by restating your view and main reason.

structure

You show a clear view in each paragraph.

content

You use examples to back your points.

coherence

You use link words like 'nevertheless' and 'for example'.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

Now- a – days for many people the internet is replacing regular books. What do you think will happen in further and what is your opinion?

You had a problem while staying at a hotel and the receptionist was very helpful. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter, – describe the problem that you had – explain how the receptionist helped you – suggest ways to prevent the problem from happening again.

Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative developmment?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?