IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came form and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came form and the charts show how it was distributed.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #form #show
The given table
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 data about the police
budget
 for 2017 and 2018 in Ireland,Italy,Spain,Sweden and Turkey. Looking at the graph as a whole,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
,
drinks
 and
tobacco
 is the most spent money in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 countries.As you can see, the lowest spend money on leisure and education in five
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
counties
. In detail,the
food
,
drinks
 and
tobacco
 in Turkey most spend at 32.14% public
dubget
Correct your spelling
budget
,and
also
 the proportion of
food
,
drinks
 and
tobacco
 most spent at 28.91% in Ireland.The rate of spend
food
,
drinks
 and
tobacco
 different
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 14% between
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Turkey and in Sweden.
The leisure
Correct article usage
Leisure
show examples
 and education
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the lowest spend
pulice
Correct your spelling
police
budget
 at 1.98% in Spain.In
adition
Correct your spelling
addition
,the proportion of
budget
 at 5.40% in Sweden is the lowest
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
.
Moreover
,the proportion of
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 different
around
Change preposition
from
show examples
 more than 20%
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
,
drinks
 and
tobacco
 to leisure and
eduction
Correct your spelling
education
show examples
 in all
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
,
then
 the rate of
boudget
Correct your spelling
budget
 different
about
Change preposition
from
show examples
 more than 5% between clothing and footwear in Ireland,Italy and Spain.
Submitted by hatsudaya706 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, food, drinks, tobacco with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: