Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In several countries is normal for teenagers once finish school to enrol themselves on military
service
. Some people argue that Use synonyms
this
policy is a good idea, Linking Words
as well as
included in these programs for women. Linking Words
However
, there are other groups that are against these laws. I completely agree with Linking Words
this
statement, which helps to adapt habits of discipline and respect for others, and the feeling of patriotism not just in men, Linking Words
as well as
women.
Nowadays, our society faces different problems like terrorism, wars, health issues etc. Linking Words
However
, one thing in common in each country when trying to attend to those problems is to support themselves in the Linking Words
army
forces. That decision is not just related to force and weapons, it is more to the preparation that each member of the Use synonyms
army
had passed, which includes workout, but Use synonyms
also
, discipline and Linking Words
service
to the community. Include mandatory military services for both genders, permits created a community more conscious about providing help to others and discipline and respect for public entities. Use synonyms
For instance
, in Colombia where military Linking Words
service
is not optional, we can see that the people believe in democracy and respect the Use synonyms
army
because have found support in them in the worst moments. It is for that that I agree with the idea that Use synonyms
this
kind of policy should be adopted in other countries.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, there is no doubt that once you finish your Linking Words
service
, your ideas about your country have changed. After that, each person has the feeling of patriotism and the idea to work to improve their nation. Indeed, governments know that and we can see many policies related to veterans. Use synonyms
For instance
, in North America, there exists a national holiday to celebrate Veterans Day, Linking Words
additionally
, the private sector adopts measures to highlight their labour, including their political benefits like discounts or preferences in case to apply for a job.
In conclusion, I completely agree that military Linking Words
service
should be compulsory for young men and women in all countries, which permits the consolidation of any society with its Use synonyms
army
.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer structure. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use more transition words to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Although you have introduced the topic effectively, the conclusion should summarize the main points more comprehensively to provide a clear closing statement.
task achievement
Try to include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. Drawing on more varied and detailed examples can help make your points more compelling.
task achievement
You have raised important points about discipline, respect, and patriotism which uphold your argument well.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion do adequately frame the essay, giving the reader a sense of your argument's scope.