IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are some who argue that the youngest age for
people
Use synonyms
 to get married should be at least 21. I strongly concur with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because younger
people
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 should focus on studying for higher education and preparing for their future careers , and because it might be tough for them to spend their precious youth on what they want or like to do, as getting married and living together can change their lives completely. First of all, when it comes to marriage, one of the problems that teenagers can face is a financial problem. Generally, the young have less
money
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 than adults who have a stable career because their focus should be on studying, not on earning a large amount of
money
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. When
people
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 are trying to hold a wedding party,
for instance
Linking Words
, it usually costs substantially, which can be an ordeal since their average salary per month from a part-
time
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 job is not an affordable amount to materialise a wedding ceremony.
Moreover
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,
time
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 is valuable, especially when they are young. Even if they do not have
money
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, they have plenty of
time
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 to spend on what they like, ranging from studying whatever subject they like to spending their
time
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 on their hobbies ,
such
Linking Words
 as reading a book and hanging out with their friends.
This
Linking Words
 is simply because after getting married and settling down with someone they love, it can be more difficult to behave favorably than they would like to, as having a family demands a great deal of cooperation with their partner. In conclusion, some
people
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 say that the age limitation on marriage should be enforced , and the age limitation should be over 21, and I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it is never too late to get married after saving a certain amount of
money
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 and because they should spend their
time
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 on their priorities when they are in their youth.

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Task Achievement
Try to add more examples or details to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas more clearly between sentences to help with flow.
Task Achievement
Your introduction presents a clear opinion which is great.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a nice structure, with clear main points and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
What to do next:
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