The charts below give information about attendance at Australian entertainment venus and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

#information #attendance #australian #entertainment #venus #admission #prices #venues

The given charts illustrate

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the number of people who went to the three different

entertainment

venues in Australia,

their

Correct word choice

and their

show examples

corresponding

ticket

prices per person or family in seven

entertainment

categories in

year

Change the article

the year

show examples

2009.

Overall

, the

cinemas

Fix the agreement mistake

cinema

show examples

is the most visited place among the three

entertainment

Autralia

Correct your spelling

Australia

which had the highest number in

year

Change the article

the year

show examples

2009,

while

the least in sports.

This

category as well registered the

most

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apply

show examples

cheapest

ticket

sale for a single entry or in a group in that year. In 2009,

Correct article usage

the cinemas

show examples

cinemas

Change noun form

cinemas'

cinema's

show examples

figure

Fix the agreement mistake

figures

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rose exponentially as many

Ausee

Correct your spelling

users

enjoy watching movies, rising to just above 1000. Far behind theme parks, unlike

cinemas

, just above quarter went for enjoyment.

On the other hand

, sports are the least

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

type of fun which accumulated only an estimated 180.

Furthermore

, the second chart presents four of the seven

entertainment

events: football

Game

Fix the agreement mistake

Games

show examples

- (AFL,NRL, NRU) and theme parks are the most expensive admission prices per person or a family group approximately between 70$-75$ per

ticket

and 210$-298$ per family

ticket

(for four people) in the given period. Trail behind Basketball at 34% (1

ticket

) and 80$ ( for family), and Cricket game with

sale

Add an article

a sale

the sale

show examples

price for each

ticket

( 24$) and family (80$).

Cinemas

demonstrate

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

competitive

prices

Correct the article-noun agreement

price

show examples

which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the cheapest compared to other fun events, a significant 15$ per

ticket

and for a group of four at 55$.

Submitted by lsc_00000 on Fri Apr 14 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words entertainment, ticket, cinemas with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below give information about attendance at Australian entertainment venus and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages?

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.