The charts below give information about attendance at Australian entertainment venus and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

#information #attendance #australian #entertainment #venus #admission #prices #venues

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The given charts illustrate

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the number of people who went to the three different

entertainment

venues in Australia,

their

Correct word choice

and their

show examples

corresponding

ticket

prices per person or family in seven

entertainment

categories in

year

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the year

show examples

2009.

Overall

, the

cinemas

Fix the agreement mistake

cinema

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is the most visited place among the three

entertainment

Autralia

Correct your spelling

Australia

which had the highest number in

year

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the year

show examples

2009,

while

the least in sports.

This

category as well registered the

most

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apply

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cheapest

ticket

sale for a single entry or in a group in that year. In 2009,

Correct article usage

the cinemas

show examples

cinemas

Change noun form

cinemas'

cinema's

show examples

figure

Fix the agreement mistake

figures

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rose exponentially as many

Ausee

Correct your spelling

users

enjoy watching movies, rising to just above 1000. Far behind theme parks, unlike

cinemas

, just above quarter went for enjoyment.

On the other hand

, sports are the least

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

type of fun which accumulated only an estimated 180.

Furthermore

, the second chart presents four of the seven

entertainment

events: football

Game

Fix the agreement mistake

Games

show examples

- (AFL,NRL, NRU) and theme parks are the most expensive admission prices per person or a family group approximately between 70$-75$ per

ticket

and 210$-298$ per family

ticket

(for four people) in the given period. Trail behind Basketball at 34% (1

ticket

) and 80$ ( for family), and Cricket game with

sale

Add an article

a sale

the sale

show examples

price for each

ticket

( 24$) and family (80$).

Cinemas

demonstrate

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

competitive

prices

Correct the article-noun agreement

price

show examples

which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the cheapest compared to other fun events, a significant 15$ per

ticket

and for a group of four at 55$.

Submitted by lsc_00000 on Fri Apr 14 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words entertainment, ticket, cinemas with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

229 words

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The charts below give information about attendance at Australian entertainment venus and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people get into debts by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world.