The charts below give information about attendance at Australian entertainment venus and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

#information #attendance #australian #entertainment #venus #admission #prices #venues

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The given charts illustrate

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the number of people who went to the three different

entertainment

Use synonyms

venues in Australia,

their

Correct word choice

and their

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corresponding

ticket

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prices per person or family in seven

entertainment

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categories in

year

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the year

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2009.

Overall

Linking Words

, the

Use synonyms

cinemas

Fix the agreement mistake

cinema

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is the most visited place among the three

entertainment

Use synonyms

Autralia

Correct your spelling

Australia

which had the highest number in

year

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the year

show examples

2009,

while

Linking Words

the least in sports.

This

Linking Words

category as well registered the

most

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apply

show examples

cheapest

ticket

Use synonyms

sale for a single entry or in a group in that year. In 2009,

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the cinemas

show examples

cinemas

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cinemas'

cinema's

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figure

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figures

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rose exponentially as many

Ausee

Correct your spelling

users

enjoy watching movies, rising to just above 1000. Far behind theme parks, unlike

cinemas

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, just above quarter went for enjoyment.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, sports are the least

favorite

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favourite

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type of fun which accumulated only an estimated 180.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the second chart presents four of the seven

entertainment

Use synonyms

events: football

Game

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Games

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- (AFL,NRL, NRU) and theme parks are the most expensive admission prices per person or a family group approximately between 70$-75$ per

ticket

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and 210$-298$ per family

ticket

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(for four people) in the given period. Trail behind Basketball at 34% (1

ticket

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) and 80$ ( for family), and Cricket game with

sale

Add an article

a sale

the sale

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price for each

ticket

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( 24$) and family (80$).

Cinemas

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demonstrate

Correct article usage

apply

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competitive

prices

Correct the article-noun agreement

price

show examples

which

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are

show examples

the cheapest compared to other fun events, a significant 15$ per

ticket

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and for a group of four at 55$.

Submitted by lsc_00000 on Fri Apr 14 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words entertainment, ticket, cinemas with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

229 words

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The charts below give information about attendance at Australian entertainment venus and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount that people can earn. Discuss both views and give your option.

some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young, while others think it is better for them to attend kindergarden. To what extend do you agree or disagree?