Some people believe that time spent on televiosion, video and computer games can be beneficial to children. Others believe this has a negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #televiosion #video #computer #games #children #effects #child

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Contemporarily, with the aid of modern technologies, there are many

people

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who believe by spending

time

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on visual artificial entertainment will bring more benefit to youth

people

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while

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some other

people

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have the opposite value. In my opinion,

children

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should interact with their friends

instead

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of relying too much on technology.

To begin

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with, we considered two positive impacts for

children

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watching and playing video

games

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Firstly

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this

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activity will improve their creativity in terms of problem-solving skills.

For example

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, playing adventure

games

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mario

Change the capitalization

Mario

show examples

bross

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bros

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

encourages youth

people

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to evade the enemy and make some alternate possible moves to reach the base. Indirectly

this

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experience will be used in real-life situations, so the

children

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become more resilient to face the problems. Not only enlarging creativity but

also

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practicing

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practising

show examples

good teamwork, playing

games

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, especially with two tag teams will elevate our

children

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's capability to become sharper. Those kinds of abilities will bring useful effects for our

children

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to face real problems.

On the other hand

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, some

people

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believe that frequently playing video

games

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, will bring addiction habit to playing continuously and make

people

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become lazy.

Instead

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of using their

time

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for studying,

while

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the young generation has acknowledged

games

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, they prefer to spend their

time

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on them. It will affect their habit and following the consequences, the majority of

children

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will get bad marks on their exams. Not only reduce the capability of our

children

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but

also

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will worsen their eye's health because they spent the whole day on the screen. In the long-term approach, neither playing

games

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nor watching videos will bring more drawbacks to a child's life. In conclusion, artificial visual entertainment brings both positive and negative ways, and

children

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should spend their

time

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doing other physical activities.

Submitted by prisetiawan on Fri Apr 14 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive development
hand-eye coordination
technological proficiency
media consumption
violence and aggression
sedentary lifestyle
social interaction
virtual worlds
educational games
screen addiction
parental control
content curation
physical activity
time management
consumer habits

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The two layouts illustrate the current situation of norbition industrial area and its coming changes which may happen in the following years ,as it can be seen in the maps,there is going to be a vast varition in general structure of this zone in its future plan.