the diagram shows blow the changes that have taken place at west park secondary school since its construction in 1950

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the picture shows the changes at west park secondary university, establish in 1950 till 2010

overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

the main road remains in the same place for over 60 years of time. the faculty had undergone some significant changes with

Correct article usage

the increase

show examples

increase

Change the verb form

increasing

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

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space of the school building. the parking space is

also

Linking Words

enlarged, and the sports field and playground are cut down to half. as can be seen from the diagram, the first time different renovations were made to the institute ground was in 1980. in 1950 there were houses and farmland, and in comparison to 1980 the car park and the science block were constructed in the place of houses and a farmland space is just converted into sportsfield.

furthermore

Linking Words

, in 2010, the science block and the school's main building remains the same. over the period of 30 ,years the car park is extended. the playground area is cut down to half and the other half of the playground became

sports

Correct article usage

a sports

show examples

field. in

brief

Add a comma

,brief

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the area around the institution building made several changes over the past 60 years.

abhikshatriya14Fri Apr 14 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the eighth paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

181 words

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the diagram shows blow the changes that have taken place at west park secondary school since its construction in 1950

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative trend?

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some poeople say History is one of the most important school subject and people think that, in todays;s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to a university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?