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Band 6.5

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution
Many
people
 think that government can be a major player to prevent illness and disease by reducing environmental pollution and find a solution to housing problems. In my opinion,
it is clear that
people
 who take decisions for the population need to improve some aspects of their life and
this
 subject has to alert him and need to be treated to secure future perspectives. First of all, the rule of governments is to provide the greatest living quality for
people
 living in their countries. It is argued to believe that it can be difficult to find a solution which is accepted by everyone. To illustrate, an eco-friendly person gives attention to his health when another does not care about it.
This
 statement means that it will be harder to convince the second adult to have the same point of view about ecology or reducing air pollution.
This
 example shows the complexity of
people
 representing humans.
Secondly
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is supported
by
Change preposition
apply
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many that an alternative to housing problems can solve many children from sicknesses.
According to
 my own experience, I have already been sick ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 I was under great conditions to spend my childhood.
While
 a lot of poor
people
 complain about
this
, medicins say that it is unbelievable to be healthy during all his existence. In fact, ministers should focus more on
this
 issue.
To conclude
, perhaps some surveys have to be done in strategic locations to make the best choice rather than use her knowledge. It can bring a better equilibrium.
Submitted by diego.merino.dc on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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