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Band 5.5

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#internet #books #air #tickets #groceries
In
this
 golden age of the internet, it is generally
understandable
Replace the word
understood
show examples
 that there are more and more users
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
show examples
 to buy things online. From my perspective, in spite of a clear drawback, the benefit of shopping online
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 undeniable and considered to be
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
greater. On the one hand, the most significant problem during shopping online time is whether those networking sites are reliable. In detail, if consumers choose the wrong ones, there will be some issues
firstly
 relating to leaking their personal
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
such
 as bank accounts, addresses or
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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phone numbers.
Secondly
, it will be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
concern
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the quality of the products. Users just have a look
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 them through images and can not touch them directly, leading to the ability of
deceptions
Fix the agreement mistake
deception
show examples
.
On the other hand
, I am more convinced that the advantage offered by shopping on the Internet is more substantial than its downside. To be more specific, there are several apps and websites
such
 as Shopee, Lazada and Tiki that offer online shopping
method
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methods
show examples
.
Instead
going
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of going
show examples
 far away to buy something, consumers just need to stay at home and click a few buttons,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
wide range of that products will be displayed on
screen
Add an article
the screen
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.
Therefore
, it is more convenient for people to compare their prices, trustworthy sources or models before deciding
to
Correct word choice
whether to
show examples
 put them into the basket or not.
As a result
, users will save more time to do other things. Taking everything into account,
while
 shopping online has
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 disadvantage, I
trule
Correct your spelling
truly
 believe that its benefits should be more considerable
due to
 its convenience.
Submitted by kakaka03 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • wide selection
  • competitive prices
  • discounts
  • accessibility
  • global marketplace
  • availability
  • fraud
  • scams
  • lack of
  • physical interaction
  • personal experience
  • impersonal
  • customer service
  • delays
  • delivery
  • return process
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