IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe it is best to help someone directly while others believe donating to a trust is advantageous. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#people #someone #trust
Charity
 can change
people
's lives. Some
people
 believe that donating to a
charity
 organisation is the best choice
while
 others argue that helping someone directly is more beneficial.
This
 essay will discuss both points of view
as well as
 my reasoning as to why the latter opinion is superior. In regards to donating funds to trusts, these days there are many easy ways to do just that.
For example
, online websites that link directly to the organisation, as giving money can be as quick as a click of a button.
Moreover
, one of the main advantages is that
overall
 trusts help a larger amount of
people
due to
 the higher number of donors.
As a result
, there are more fees for contributions
such
 as building a hospital or increasing housing, these have long-term benefits and improve life expectancy.
However
, As many
people
 are not comfortable with not knowing where their money is heading, Helping someone in need directly removes that issue because the person supplying the funding will know exactly where and how their funds have been supporting them. There is
also
 the fact that seeing
this
 with one's own eyes grants satisfaction and results in
people
 helping others more frequently. Supporting someone does not only mean giving money there are other ways of being helpful
such
 as babysitting, cooking for the needy and donating unwanted clothes
instead
 of throwing them out are just a few ideas that can be just as rewarding.
To conclude
,
Although
charity
 corporations supply aid to a greater number of individuals, in my opinion, I do not believe that they are completely transparent about how much of a donor's funding is utilized on said
charity
.
Hence
 my stance on directly aiding.
Submitted by amaladem24 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present to frame the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Provide more logical sequence and connection between ideas to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more specific examples and reasoning to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
Make sure to present a clear opinion and address all aspects of the prompt to fully satisfy the task requirements.
task achievement
Clearly develop and support ideas throughout the essay to ensure a comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support the arguments effectively and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

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