IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe it is best to help someone directly while others believe donating to a trust is advantageous. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

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Charity
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 can change
people
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's lives. Some
people
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 believe that donating to a
charity
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 organisation is the best choice
while
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 others argue that helping someone directly is more beneficial.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view
as well as
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 my reasoning as to why the latter opinion is superior. In regards to donating funds to trusts, these days there are many easy ways to do just that.
For example
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, online websites that link directly to the organisation, as giving money can be as quick as a click of a button.
Moreover
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, one of the main advantages is that
overall
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 trusts help a larger amount of
people
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due to
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 the higher number of donors.
As a result
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, there are more fees for contributions
such
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 as building a hospital or increasing housing, these have long-term benefits and improve life expectancy.
However
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, As many
people
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 are not comfortable with not knowing where their money is heading, Helping someone in need directly removes that issue because the person supplying the funding will know exactly where and how their funds have been supporting them. There is
also
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 the fact that seeing
this
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 with one's own eyes grants satisfaction and results in
people
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 helping others more frequently. Supporting someone does not only mean giving money there are other ways of being helpful
such
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 as babysitting, cooking for the needy and donating unwanted clothes
instead
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 of throwing them out are just a few ideas that can be just as rewarding.
To conclude
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,
Although
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charity
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 corporations supply aid to a greater number of individuals, in my opinion, I do not believe that they are completely transparent about how much of a donor's funding is utilized on said
charity
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.
Hence
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 my stance on directly aiding.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present to frame the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Provide more logical sequence and connection between ideas to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more specific examples and reasoning to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
Make sure to present a clear opinion and address all aspects of the prompt to fully satisfy the task requirements.
task achievement
Clearly develop and support ideas throughout the essay to ensure a comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support the arguments effectively and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
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