In many parts of the world, children are given more freedom than in the past. Is this a positive or negative development?

it is true that these days, many
children
have the autonomy to make a decision on their own. personally, I hold the belief that the advantages of
this
development are overshadowed by its disadvantages. on the one hand, those who support the freedom of youngsters may point out its positive effects on their mental health. it is worth mentioning that when
children
are allowed to make their own decisions, they are able to explore a myriad of interesting things, which can help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
broaden their horizons about the world and escape from their daily hectic schedules.
for example
, in
viet nam
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
, many extracurricular activities are celebrated in order to encourage more
children
to discover their passions freely without the control of parents or teachers.
due to
opportunities, youngsters are likely to have an optimistic view towards their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and enrich their knowledge of the outside world.
on the other hand
,the drawbacks of
this
trend need to be taken into consideration significantly, without the management of adults,
children
can get involved in social issues, which would have a detrimental impact on their future lives.
for instance
, people who commit a crime at an early age are unable to find a suitable job in the future.
furthermore
, teens need the assistance of their parents and teachers, because there a still a lot of things that they need to absorb with a view to becoming good citizens.
therefore
, too much freedom can affect negatively
children
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. in conclusion, I am of the opinion that the merits of
this
tendency are eclipsed by its demerits. it is predicted that technological devices will accompany youngsters to control them in certain situations in the future.
Submitted by bobong120906 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the response fully addresses the task prompt and provides a clear opinion on the given topic. Support the ideas with relevant examples and explanations to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically and coherently, using appropriate linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion should clearly present the main points and summarize the overall argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: