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Writing Samples
Band 6

some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both these views anf give your opinion

#people #children #school #age #anf
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It is vital to choose the appropriate
age
 for
children
to begin
 education. The writer of
this
 essay believes that both play a significant role in child grooming. I will discuss both aspects in
this
 essay below It is understandable why a number of people think that
children
 can have more knowledge than their peers. Their families want them to have good chances on the road to university and even occupation. They think education at an earlier
age
 is better way than older
age
 .
For example
, in a class, most
children
, who learn in extra classes, can have high scores on the tests. A good exam can make their parents proud of the result the
children
, which helps them have a motivation for their kids
However
, there are several diverse effects.
Children
 learn at an early
age
 can make them lack social skills. They do not have practical experience, leading them can not make friendships. They do not have friends to share or express their emotions with them.
Moreover
, they can not think creatively. they only learn by heart.
For instance
, my sister engages in some extra classes and she still knows many information relevant to academic subjects so she doesn't know how to cook a meal for her family. From my perspective, offspring can have more benefits from their parents and friends. they need to spend more time playing with close friendships because it can help them to have good memories and a sense of belonging. In conclusion,
although
 education at an early
age
 can help them have more knowledge in academic subjects, they can not have social skills
due to
 they can not tackle the problems relevant to their life
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which is commendable. However, the structure can be improved for better logical flow. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
You have provided relevant points for both views of the argument. However, the essay would benefit from more detailed examples and explanations to support your main points.
task achievement
Try to address both views more evenly. One side of the argument appears to be more developed than the other. Make sure to provide balanced consideration.
clear comprehensive ideas
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect clarity. Proofreading your work and possibly expanding your vocabulary will help convey your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the task reasonably well by discussing both views and providing your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and summarize your main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social interactions
  • educational foundation
  • structured learning
  • emotional and psychological readiness
  • effective learning
  • cost-effective
  • childcare centers
  • explore their interests
  • creativity
  • love of learning
  • parental burden
  • economic considerations
  • childhood freedom
  • natural learning
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