IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, a lot of people enjoy watching sports on TV. Do you think the advantages of watching sports on TV outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #sports #tv
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In today’s life, many
people
Use synonyms
 are keen on observing
sports
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 events on
TV
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. In my opinion, I consider that watching
sports
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 on
TV
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 might bring lots of problems than possible benefits. Admittedly, there are some basic pluses of watching
sports
Use synonyms
 on
TV
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.
Firstly
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, not everyone is able to attend some
sports
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 events, so in
this
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 case, watching them on
TV
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 could be much more affordable for the audience compared with expenditures on attending offline soccer or basketball
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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.
Moreover
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, there are other additional expenses
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 flight tickets, accommodation, and pocket money.
Secondly
Linking Words
, watching
sports
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 on
TV
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 influences a huge mass of
people
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 encouraging them to do more
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and be healthier. Undoubtedly,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
people
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 who probably improve their lifestyle, in
this
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 case,
this
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 case will be parents and relatives.
However
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, despite the advantages of watching
sports
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 on the
TV
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 above, I believe that
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
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 may face other issues by doing it on a daily basis. One possible detrimental problem is addiction.
This
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 is because some
people
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 can not stop watching and will spend long hours in front of the
TV
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 enjoying
sports
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 performances and eliminating their social life and work duties,
for example
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.
Such
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 irresponsibility may lead to losing a job and unemployment which cause health and mental issues in many cases. Another obvious issue is that it
also
Linking Words
 might have negative effects on the family and relationships. Spending too much time
by being
Verb problem
apply
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slumped in front of the
TV
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 does not allow
people
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 to have sufficient connections with their family members, and,
therefore
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, it creates a
non-healthy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
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 atmosphere at home. In conclusion, being addicted or struggling to have healthy relationships in the family far
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
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 any of the possible minor benefits that could come from watching
sports
Use synonyms
 on
TV
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.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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