Some people think that government should control the amount of violence in the films and TV programs, in order to reduce the crimes in the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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New

content

Use synonyms

is flooding out every day from each and every part of the world.

Thus

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, producers are making

content

Use synonyms

more provocative to attract people's attention over other productions. As

this

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phenomenon is getting worse, some people argue that the

government

Use synonyms

should regulate

content

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. Others insist that

this

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is the freedom of the production team and it should be respected.

This

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essay will discuss

this

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issue from a balanced perspective. First of all, it can be said that the

government

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's control over violence demonstrated in video production is necessary at

this

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point because criminal cases developed from the media are rising every year.

For example

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, a person who was addicted to a violent film series killed his parents because he lost the ability to separate the real world and the violent world inside the movie.

This

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case shows the danger of exposure to brutal media. As more and more violent programs are created, the number of similar circumstances taking place is increasing.

Therefore

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, it should be legally controlled for a safe society.

On the other hand

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, the

government

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's intervention could be a factor that hinders the producer's freedom to create

content

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. Historically, the regulation of arts and media was used to improve the power of the

government

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over the public.

For instance

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, Hitler and Mao banned all art creations that did not fit into their ideology. As

such

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, since the standard of violence cannot be defined clearly, there is the possibility that the

government

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might reject the producer's creation if the message goes against their thoughts.

This

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will eventually block the artist's creativity.

To conclude

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, there is an ongoing debate on whether the

government

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should or should not make legislation regarding films or TV shows. Personally, I think that the

government

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's role should be played to some extent to ensure a peaceful society.

yelim050319Fri Apr 12 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

A more varied range of linking devices could be used to improve cohesion.

Task Achievement

Include more specific examples or data to further support your points and enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your introduction explicitly states your viewpoint to give a clearer direction to your essay.

Task Achievement

You presented a balanced discussion with well-rounded arguments for both perspectives.

Coherence & Cohesion

You effectively used paragraphs and sentences that logically flowed, enhancing the coherence of your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

The conclusion succinctly summarized the essay's main points and clearly stated your viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Some people think that government should control the amount of violence in the films and TV programs, in order to reduce the crimes in the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some modern artist receive huge sums of money for the things they create while others struggle to survive Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Climate change is the biggest threat to life on our planet. How accurate is this statement? Is there any other big threat to mankind?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?