It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is often said that risks play a pivotal role in both occupations and private lives. In spite of the short-term harmfulness
this
trend causes to people, it provides a lot of opportunities and I believe Linking Words
this
advantage far outweighs any potential disadvantages.
On the one hand, making a risky move can hurt a person in the short term. Linking Words
For example
, students who receive financial support from their primary guardians find it extremely hard to be independent on their first days of studying abroad. Specifically, they have to look for jobs to make ends meet, which is more challenging compared to the time they live with their parents. The same can be true of making a career switch that involves a big pay cut. To be more specific, individuals have to sacrifice the high income provided by their old jobs to start over in a new sector. Linking Words
Consequently
, they have to temporarily receive a low salary package at the beginning of their new stage.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, I would argue that the advantage is more significant. On the positive side, risks bring opportunities. Linking Words
For instance
, a woman who is brave enough to give up her traumatic marriage is more likely to have a happy ending with a new partner in the future. Another good example comes from Bill Gates. If he hadn’t dropped out of university to start a business, he wouldn’t have created Microsoft, a multibillion-dollar company Linking Words
that is
famous across the globe, making him one of the richest men in the world.
In conclusion, even though taking risks brings an adverse effect short term, it provides a lot of opportunities. Linking Words
Therefore
, I believe that the downside is greatly outweighed by the upside.Linking Words
Submitted by phamduchien711 on
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task response
Ensure that all paragraphs directly relate to the essay prompt and clearly support the stance taken in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear overall progression from the introduction to the conclusion, but work on providing more explicit connections between sentences and ideas within the paragraphs.