IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets, namely Average diet, Healthy diet and Healthy diet for sport.

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets, namely Average diet, Healthy diet and Healthy diet for sport.
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The diagrams demonstrate how the coastal
village
Use synonyms
 named Seaville changed over a 30-year period, starting from 1980.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that Seaville experienced significant modernization processes from a
village
Use synonyms
 to a
town
Use synonyms
 with the most noticeable changes being the mushrooming of numerous infrastructures for both residents and tourists over the period shown. Looking at the west side for more detail, it is most noticeable that all the marshes and holiday cottages were demolished, making way for the construction of the permanent houses which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 to accommodate a certain number of inhabitants.
In addition
Linking Words
, the woodland on the top left of the
village
Use synonyms
 was replaced by the emergence of golf courses so as to attract more people to live there. Moving on to the other side of the
town
Use synonyms
,
where
Correct word choice
which
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 witnessed the most dramatic changes. At
first,
Linking Words
there was numerous advanced development in order to attract tourists which
was
Correct your spelling
as
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 the devastation of the tea room and the sand dunes, giving way to the birth of modern infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as a restaurant and hotel.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
town
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 experienced the construction of a retirement
village
Use synonyms
 for senior citizens
in
Change preposition
apply
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which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 had not had anything before.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the traffic in that
town
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 developed
due to
Linking Words
 the appearance of the street
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the retirement
village
Use synonyms
 to the east bank.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words village, town with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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