The government should spend money in promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is evident for some that
government
ought to concentrate on supporting sport and
art
in
schools
more
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
than in communities of people. From my perspective, I absolutely agree that it is better for the
government
to promote cultural activities in
schools
in comparison with groups of people. First of all, by promoting
art
and
sports
in
schools
, the
government
takes care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
children’s health and well-being which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them to perform in a good way.
Also
, these teenagers being a part of their families and groups of friends are able to make a great impact on their parents and peers around them.
In addition
, today’s juveniles will be adults and parents, and if they continue following a healthy and cultural lifestyle, the country probably would develop more significantly. Building hockey facilities in
schools
,
for instance
, allows the
government
to encourage young boys to become successful hockey players in the future representing their country at the Olympic games.
Secondly
, promoting
sports
and
art
in school might reduce crimes among juveniles
due to
their busyness with other more beneficial things. It is obvious that many kids commit a crime in their free time when they do not have anything to do.
Therefore
, it should be the
government
’s responsibility to form regulations for
schools
in terms of extracurricular activities
such
as
sports
and
art
in order to avoid children being involved in committing a crime. Take an example, in private high
schools
in developed countries, there is an exception to
face
Verb problem
apply
show examples
drug abuse compared with some state
schools
due to
their programs with no additional
sports
and
art
classes. In conclusion, I totally agree that the most efficient for the
government
is to invest a lot in sport and
art
in school for children’s health and the country’s well-being in the future.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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