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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future devlopment of the site. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future devlopment of the site. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#maps #show #area #town #norbiton #future #devlopment #site #information #features #comparisons
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The maps illustrate industrial development in Narbition
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
also
Linking Words
 show the plans for the near future. Based on those planned are include various areas
such
Linking Words
 as factories, and housing. To start with, Norbition industrial area currently is mainly of factory buildings and the majority is in the east part which is including 5 towers ,and in the north 1 tower, and approximately 2 towers on the west
side
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the total
the
Correct article usage
apply
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factory is 8 buildings which are located along the
side
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of
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the river and opposite with farmland. With regard to, planned future development will
has
Wrong verb form
have
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 a huge
changing
Replace the word
change
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,
Overall
Linking Words
 it is can be observed that
factory
Correct article usage
the factory
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 industry is replaced by mostly housing for 7 places,
playground
Correct article usage
a playground
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east
side
Use synonyms
, and shops and
Correct article usage
a
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medical centre in the south area.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the near future plan will have a school
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east
side
Use synonyms
 of the residential area. Interestingly, the roads will be developed
cross
Correct your spelling
across
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 the river to join another residential part.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the farmland's scale will be
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 on the east
side
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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