What are the advantages and disadvantages of children watching TV?

#children #tv

Nowadays, Spending more

time

television

is becoming so popular for many

children

However

, there are both pros and cons

Change preposition

show examples

programs. In

this

essay, I will discuss some of the benefits and drawbacks of watching

television

for kids and provide my opinion

at the end

. Let’s start by looking at the advantages.

Firstly

, a

huge

Change the adjective

hugely

show examples

positive result of kids watching

is that it helps them to develop an interest in learning and remembering

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

concepts easily.

Secondly

, watching foreign movies or cartoons without translation may help them to learn another language.

For example

, my younger cousin has improved his English language skills by watching

series with original dubbing. Turning to the other side of the argument, watching

television

may have a negative

consequence

Fix the agreement mistake

consequences

show examples

for young people. Their eyesight will become worse.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

when watching

, the eyes have to focus on the screen, so they are often stressed and over-regulated. Increasingly, their vision is getting narrower and they cannot see without glasses.

In addition

children

using more

time

for

television

will not have enough

time

for

such

outdoor activities as playing football, cycling... In conclusion,

Television

has both benefits and drawbacks for

children

. Even though it can assist young people become more aware of the world around them, it can

also

lead to health problems and interfere with daily activities. In my opinion, the advantages of

television

outweigh the disadvantages because I believe that

children

Add a verb

arechildren

werechildren

show examples

able to choose the right content and use their

time

wisely.

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Tue Apr 18 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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