IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #sports #facilities #train #athletes #development
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How
sports
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facilities
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 should be provided is a topic that has been discussed among many groups of
people
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. Some
people
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 think that it is right that the
athletes
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 can take priority
such
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 as new
sports
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 centres.
However
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, others think that it is a negative trend that
sports
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facilities
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 can be used by
athletes
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 only. In the following paragraphs, both of these two views will be discussed.
To begin
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 with, there is a positive trend in providing specialised
facilities
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 to train top
athletes
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. Performing of
players
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 can be better. To illustrate, many
players
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 can
use
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 the
sports
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facilities
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 without interruption by others who are not
athletes
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, and those
players
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 can concentrate on their practice and may be awarded in the future because of their successful performances. For some
sports
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 that require teammates,
players
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 can practice together in provided centres, and they can improve their relationships which can ensure that the teams will accomplish their goals.
On the other hand
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, providing specialised
facilities
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 to
athletes
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 only can be a negative trend. Many children, especially those who lack financial resources, have to give up on their dreams of being
athletes
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 because there are no good
facilities
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 to support them.
This
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 situation may cause a bad effect on the countries in the future because they do have not enough
athletes
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 to perform internationally.
Moreover
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,
people
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 in some countries can face bad diseases,
such
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 as obesity and diabetes if they do not have
such
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 a place to exercise.
This
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 means that the population in those countries may decrease in the future. In summary, the factors stated above pave the way for my conclusion.
Sports
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facilities
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 are not for
train
Wrong verb form
training
show examples
 top
athletes
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 only. In my opinion, I understand that many
athletes
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 need to
use
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 specialised
facilities
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, but providing
such
Linking Words
 a priority for them only is not the best choice, but everyone should be given good
sports
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facilities
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. Perhaps,
sports
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facilities
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 can be separated for personal
use
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 and athlete
use
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. There are many
people
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,
such
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 as someone who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to be an athlete or someone who wants to exercise to prevent diseases, desire to
use
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 those
sports
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 centres, and it is the circumstance that the local governments, or other organizations that want to provide those
facilities
Use synonyms
, should have decisions that can be acceptable for everyone.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
What to do next:
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