IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think the money spent on developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
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It's a well-known fact that several governments allocate large sums of
money
Use synonyms
 towards
space
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 exploration. Personally, I strongly agree that these funds should be directed towards public services that have a more direct, immediate impact on
people
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's daily
lives
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. There are several reasons why
space
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 exploration should be reconsidered.
Firstly
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,
such
Linking Words
 missions can be a tremendous expense, requiring vast amounts of
money
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 for astronaut training, rocket and
space
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 shuttle construction, and advanced technology development.
Secondly
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, the exploration of
space
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 does not have a direct impact on the
lives
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 of ordinary citizens who struggle with challenges
such
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 as earning a livelihood and maintaining health.
Lastly
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,
space
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 research can pose risks to astronauts'
lives
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.
Although
Linking Words
 unmanned spacecraft can minimize the involvement of human beings in dangerous tasks, accidents can still occur. I firmly believe that the
money
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 spent on
space
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 research would be better allocated towards schools and hospitals.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is more cost-effective to train teachers and doctors than astronauts. Dollars spent on education programs can equip young
people
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 with knowledge and skills that can improve their efficiency in the workplace, thereby improving their standard of living.
Secondly
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, if governments opt to channel the funds previously used for
space
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 travel towards building hospitals and providing quality healthcare to citizens,
people
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 will feel safer and happier as they will receive support from national authorities. In conclusion, I advocate for the reallocation of funds to areas of education and healthcare that have a more direct impact on
people
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's
lives
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, rather than expending vast amounts of
money
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 on exploring
space
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 and remote planets.
Submitted by mtgngocanh on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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