Some people suggest that setting up more gyms will encourage people to remain active. What problems are associated with this proposal? What solutions can you offer for good health?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is thought by some people that people can be encouraged to remain healthy by building more

gyms

Use synonyms

around their residential areas. In

this

Linking Words

essay, the effects and solutions of

this

Linking Words

matter will be outlined before reaching my conclusion.

To begin

Linking Words

with, constructing more

gyms

Use synonyms

causes several problems

Change preposition

for

show examples

communities.

Firstly

Linking Words

, setting up

gyms

Use synonyms

needs spaces and the available parks in the communities might be chosen.

This

Linking Words

will affect the older generations' health directly as these days, the senior population enjoys doing exercises or working out in parks or green spaces in the morning

due to

Linking Words

the freshness of the environment.

Hence

Linking Words

, an encroachment on those areas makes senior citizens unable access to their regular physical activities leading to becoming inactive.

Moreover

Linking Words

, building more

gyms

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

makes youngsters disconnect from their parents or

families

Use synonyms

. The new generations will opt for going to the

gyms

Use synonyms

, which have comprehensive machines to work out

such

Linking Words

as treadmills or weight lifting machines,

instead

Linking Words

of doing exercises

together with

Linking Words

their

families

Use synonyms

in the morning. Leading to a lack of conversation or interaction between

families

Use synonyms

, fading the bond.

However

Linking Words

, there are many ways to solve the disadvantages of setting up

gyms

Use synonyms

. For, example, we can redesign the park by constructing

gyms

Use synonyms

in the middle

as well as

Linking Words

surrounding green areas for senior individuals to do their exercises.

Therefore

Linking Words

, youths can rather choose to work out with their parents outside, in green spaces, or take them inside the

gyms

Use synonyms

to do other physical activities together. With

this

Linking Words

idea, young people will still have tight bonds with their

families

Use synonyms

and all family members stay fit. All in all, it is possible to set up more

gyms

Use synonyms

in our communities but designers need to consider

Change preposition

from

show examples

all angles in order to not only keep individuals of all ages active but

also

Linking Words

family bonding is still the same or getting better.

nnatthineeSun May 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

You have addressed both parts of the task and provided a relevant response, but there is room for further development and clearer elaboration of your points. Make sure to provide more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

While your main points are supported with reasoning, adding more specific examples and details would make your arguments more convincing. Consider elaborating on the points further to provide a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-presented, contributing to a coherent overall structure.

task achievement

You have presented clear ideas and provided a generally comprehensive response to the task, which helps to maintain readers' understanding.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

311 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Financial burden
Public services
Economic disparities
Education and awareness campaigns
Alternative forms of physical activity
Over-reliance
facilities
underlying reasons
motivation
affordability barriers

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?
The human population is exploding at an alarming rate, requiring more resources to build residential areas and factories. As a result, natural beauty venues are being diminished to accommodate human demands. This issue could be deterred by enforcing stringent punishments and robust judicial efforts. In this essay, I will also discuss the benefits of preserving these locations.
4
band
In some countries, owning a home rether than renting one is very important for people
Nowadays, our world that we live in, owning a house was popular rather than in renting house for humans. Why might this be the case? Because there have two main situations. There are for time and cost saving.
7
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try cooporate more rather that competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the current time, competition in many aspects of life has become experienced by people. However, some of them believe that competing in many different settings of life, including at work, school, and in daily life can be beneficial, even though others think that cooperation should be encouraged. Nonetheless, I would say that I agree with the latter opinion is far superior for some reasons which are set out below.
<4
band
In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In recent times, some people staying alone by their choice than past generations. Living alone makes them responsible, punctual and give great experience to tackle any problems. It is a positive development in their life and i shall in favour of positive side and give relevant examples to support my view points.
<4
band
Some people state that the national teams and an individual sportsman and sportswomen should be financially sponsored by the government or non-government body. how far do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Today, as the rivalry among nations has soared, international sports competitions, like Olympics, are at the centre of attentions. Some argue that national teams and athletes have to be supported financially. It is agreed that supporting them can increase their concentration toward focusing more on to succeed in upcoming competitions as well as it motivates people to

Some people suggest that setting up more gyms will encourage people to remain active. What problems are associated with this proposal? What solutions can you offer for good health?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?

In some countries, owning a home rether than renting one is very important for people

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try cooporate more rather that competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people state that the national teams and an individual sportsman and sportswomen should be financially sponsored by the government or non-government body. how far do you agree or disagree with this statement?