Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to gat a university education. Some people believw that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or diasgree?

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Nowadays, a lot of
individuals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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are disconnecting from modern society and they do not have
ability
Change the article
the ability

It appears that the noun ability is not preceded by the correct article. Consider changing the article.

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to study at universities and other educational institutions. There are many activists who claimed that universities should take responsibility
in
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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providing good quality
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. From my perspective, I support
these activist
Change the determiner
this activist
these activists

It appears that the plural demonstrative these is modifying the singular noun activist. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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. So, in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay
Add a comma
,essay

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in this essay. Consider adding a comma.

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I will
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

examine
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

thought-provoking question.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, there are many benefits that outweigh the drawbacks.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if
person
Add an article
the person
a person

The noun phrase person seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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was born somewhere remote from the city in
rural
Add an article
a rural

The noun phrase rural area seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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area it does not mean that he or she is
dump
Correct your spelling
dumb

The word dump doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and stupid. They could be very
cleaver
Correct your spelling
clever

The word cleaver doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and have
passion
Correct article usage
a passion

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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for
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these people
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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are so motivated. One of the reasons why they are motivated is that they want to have a better life ,
change
Correct word choice
and change

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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theire
Correct your spelling
their

If you don’t want theire to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

lifestyle and ambience in general.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these
individuals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
are as well our future as those who live in cities and have access to normal
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, If we can provide
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for all classes from lower to upper classes we will decrease the level of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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poverty in many countries. There are some solutions in order to unravel
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue. First of all ,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is not a big amount of money which is authority need to spend
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

provide good quality of
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The statistics show that two
billions
Correct your spelling
billion

The word billions doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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dollars spend around the world every day on
army
Add an article
the army
an army

The noun phrase army seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we need only twelve billion
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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dollars to supply
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for everyone who needs it around the world.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, universities must pay for all amenities and
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
individuals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who
are need
Change the verb form
need

It appears that the form of the verb need does not work with are in this sentence.

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it.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all educational institutions should create separate classes where people from villages and
Correct article usage
the countrysides

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside

It seems that countrysides may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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will be studying. Even construct new buildings for applicants. In conclusion,
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for people from
rural
Add an article
a rural

The noun phrase rural area seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas

It seems that area may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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is so crucial
concidering
Correct your spelling
considering

If you don’t want concidering to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that they are our future and all educational institutions should do everything possible for these
individuals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • disadvantaged families
  • rural areas
  • university education
  • social equality
  • scholarships
  • mentorship programs
  • financial aid
  • outreach programs
  • enrollment
  • collaborative partnerships
  • pathways
  • educational goals
  • access to resources
  • transportation challenges
What to do next:
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