Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to gat a university education. Some people believw that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or diasgree?

#students #families #areas #gat #university #education #people #believw #universities #diasgree

Nowadays, a lot of

individuals

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are disconnecting from modern society and they do not have

ability

Change the article

the ability

show examples

to study at universities and other educational institutions. There are many activists who claimed that universities should take responsibility

Change preposition

for

show examples

providing good quality

education

. From my perspective, I support

these activist

Change the determiner

this activist

these activists

show examples

. So, in

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will

further

examine

this

thought-provoking question.

To begin

with, there are many benefits that outweigh the drawbacks.

Firstly

, if

person

Add an article

the person

a person

show examples

was born somewhere remote from the city in

rural

Add an article

a rural

show examples

area it does not mean that he or she is

dump

Correct your spelling

dumb

show examples

and stupid. They could be very

cleaver

Correct your spelling

clever

show examples

and have

passion

Correct article usage

a passion

show examples

for

education

Furthermore

, these people

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are so motivated. One of the reasons why they are motivated is that they want to have a better life ,

change

Correct word choice

and change

show examples

theire

Correct your spelling

their

lifestyle and ambience in general.

Also

, these

individuals

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are as well our future as those who live in cities and have access to normal

education

Hence

, If we can provide

education

for all classes from lower to upper classes we will decrease the level of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poverty in many countries. There are some solutions in order to unravel

this

issue. First of all ,

this

is not a big amount of money which is authority need to spend

due to

provide good quality of

education

. The statistics show that two

billions

Correct your spelling

billion

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

dollars spend around the world every day on

army

Add an article

the army

an army

show examples

However

, we need only twelve billion

Change preposition

apply

show examples

dollars to supply

education

for everyone who needs it around the world.

Consequently

, universities must pay for all amenities and

education

for

individuals

who

are need

Change the verb form

need

show examples

it.

Furthermore

, all educational institutions should create separate classes where people from villages and

Correct article usage

the countrysides

show examples

countrysides

Fix the agreement mistake

countryside

show examples

will be studying. Even construct new buildings for applicants. In conclusion,

education

for people from

rural

Add an article

a rural

show examples

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

is so crucial

concidering

Correct your spelling

considering

that they are our future and all educational institutions should do everything possible for these

individuals

Submitted by slobodanatol83 on Wed Apr 19 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to gat a university education. Some people believw that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or diasgree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the past lectures were the only method of teaching to a large number of students. Technology has brought tremendous changes. What are the advantages and disadvantages.

In many countries, people throw away a lot of food from restaurants and shops. Why do you think people waste food in this way? What can be done to reduce the amount of food thrown away?

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people oppose it. Discuss in both views and give your opinion.

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?