*Some people think zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, some people think zoos can help protect the rare animals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#*some #people #zoos #animals

Over the past few decades, the issue of

zoos

has been widely debated.

While

some believe that

zoos

are inhumane and should not be opened, others argue that

zoos

are able to protect endangered

animals

. From my perspective, I believe that

zoos

could contribute to our society. In the following essay, both views will be explored and a conclusion will be drawn. There are many benefits to building a zoo.

Firstly

zoos

allow

people

to acquire valuable knowledge about

animals

in person without regional barriers.

While

different

animals

exist in different countries,

zoos

offer opportunities to see

animals

together, which makes it easier for

people

to recognize them and in the meantime develop

people

’s environmental awareness.

For example

, in tropical countries

such

as Thailand, it is impossible to see a polar bear in the wild.

However

zoos

provide chances for Thai

people

to see a polar bear in person.

In addition

zoos

can bring in a great amount of income, which can be used on animal preserving works.

However

, some argue that

zoos

are cruel because they restrict

animals

’ freedoms by confining them to small areas compared to the wild. They assert that

people

should take animal rights into account

instead

of limiting their movements.

Although

it sounds reasonable,

zoos

also

preserve endangered

animals

Due to

global warming, many habitats are being challenged, which leads to a deterioration of survival conditions for rare

animals

As a result

zoos

offer a place to protect these

animals

, which contributes to the biodiversity of the natural environment. In conclusion,

while

some

people

think that

zoos

are cruel, I believe that it is important for

zoos

to prioritize the well-being of the

animals

under their care to ensure they are healthy and thriving. By balancing both animal welfare and conservation efforts,

zoos

can continue to be a valuable contribution to society.

Submitted by jelly11151437 on Thu Apr 20 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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*Some people think zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, some people think zoos can help protect the rare animals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Advantage of using electronic device in the classroom

Boxing is a bloody sport that often results in physical injuries. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in the modern age. Do you agree or disagree?

Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. why is this? is this the best solution to traffic congestion?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification.

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?