IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Topic from Task 1 The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households

Topic from Task 1 The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households
#topic #show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households
The charts provide information about changes in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number
 of households with electrical appliances and the amount of time contributed to housework per week, over a hundred-year period between 1919 and 2019. Looking over the charts, a few main trends turn out to be clear.
Firstly
, the
number
 of electrical devices in our houses shows
steady
Add an article
a steady
show examples
 upward trend. Meanwhile, the
number
 of hours of housework continuously drops. A more detailed look at the first chart reveals that the most rapid raise was fixed for refrigerators. It had been boosted rapidly since 1920
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and has taken its own place in each house to 1980 already.
As well as
 refrigerators, vacuum cleaners became well-spread in households during the
last
 century.
However
, the latter had
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 stable increase and achieve 100% of appearance only
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2000. Washing machine seems to be less popular or less available for the
middle-class
Correct your spelling
middle class
show examples
 arguably. The percentage of
this
 device slightly fluctuated from 60% to 70% through the period between the 40s and 90s, but after that, the figure has been slowly rising since 2000. In terms of the
number
 of hours of housework per week, it is significantly falling. In the first half of
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
century
Add a comma
,century
show examples
 the figure plummeted twice and continued the decline
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
slower
Add an article
a slower
show examples
 rate. Following the data
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
above, we could make an assumption that
this
 downward trend will continue
due to
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of electrical devices in households.
Submitted by lifeisjune on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rapid" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: