IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people around the world are still relying on the private car as their major mean of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest some solutions

#people #world #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars
Nowadays despite the major growth in the
transportation
 industry and the existence of many types of vehicles private
cars
 are still the main popular means of individuals
commencing
Correct your spelling
commenting
show examples
 around the globe and people have a great reliance on their
cars
. There seem to be two main problems stemming from
this
 situation, and
also
 two steps could be taken to address them fully. On the one hand, the potential main causes are insufficient public
transportation
as well as
 the convenience of private
cars
. Primarily, at the pace of
this
 day's lives people are not willing to waste their precious time at the bus stations to commute to work
otherwise
 spending long hours standing in a crowded subway after a long queue is not interesting in the 21st century
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 it takes 15 30 minutes
take
Add the particle
to take
show examples
 on a subway in a crowded station in Tehran.
Moreover
,
it is clear that
 there is not enough access to public
transportation
 from each house or apartment and it is more convenient to take a private car to sit and
listening
Wrong verb form
listen
show examples
 to a favourite song rather than being pressed in a cramped taxi next to a stranger. From another angle, turning to possible solutions they could be the better infrastructure of transporting facilities and nurturing the culture of using them in people.
Initially
, governments and policymakers should initiate a good working transport system which is comfortable with plenty of space and a reliable timetable. More importantly, public awareness about the advantages of using buses or any other vehicle and the drawbacks of private
cars
for instance
 more emissions in the atmosphere should be a matter of concern to build a good culture of
transportation
. In conclusion, it is obvious that there could be more reasons than public
transportation
 and their inconvenience but the better infrastructure for transporting and its culture could be a suitable remedy for
this
 phenomenon.
Submitted by m.beirami2008 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • traffic congestion
  • commute times
  • reduced productivity
  • environmental issues
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • climate change
  • public health problems
  • respiratory issues
  • poor air quality
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • obesity
  • economic costs
  • road maintenance
  • healthcare expenses
  • pollution-related diseases
  • accidents
  • degradation
  • urban spaces
  • green spaces
  • public use
What to do next:
Look at other essays: