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Writing Samples
Band 5

Children in many countries are eating more fast food and convenience snacks. Why are children doing this and how serious are the consequences? Cause and solution essay

#children #countries #food #convenience #snacks #consequences
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Eating unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 is becoming popular in many countries. It is indicated that young
children
Use synonyms
 opt to have biscuits
instead
Linking Words
 of carrots.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the affordability and
easy
Correct your spelling
ease
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
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prepare
Replace the word
preparation
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.
However
Linking Words
, there are negative effects associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 snacking. Most
school age
Add a hyphen
school-age
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 prefer packing macdonalds for lunch.
This
Linking Words
 is because it is easier and it's what everyone is now eating.
Instead
Linking Words
 of packing a
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
meal
Add a comma
,meal
show examples
 it is cheaper and faster to make an order for chicken nuggets. Another reason why there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more and more
children
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 who are eating fast
food
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 is that the
food
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 is easily accessible and affordable.
Children
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 under the age of 18 get a discount.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
 for young ones to eat junk foods. There are negative effects caused by eating too much of the sometimes
food
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. One of them is obesity. Studies
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shown that obesity is becoming a major problem in many young
children
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. Feeding on unhealthy stuff  provide the body with too much fat than required.
This
Linking Words
 leads to
children
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 becoming
over weight
Correct your spelling
overweight
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, reports of
heart
Use synonyms
 attacks
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 young
children
Use synonyms
 are
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
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a result of eating fast foods.
For example
Linking Words
, when
children
Use synonyms
 eat too much junk and do not exercise they are at
high-risk
Correct your spelling
high risk
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 of having a
heart
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 attack. Eating
health
Replace the word
healthy
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food
Use synonyms
 is one of the major ways to prevent
heart
Use synonyms
 attacks in
children
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. In summary, having fast
food
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 restaurants and affordable
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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children
Use synonyms
 to eat unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
, as a res
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
there are more obese
children
Use synonyms
 and
heart
Use synonyms
 attacks being reported.
Submitted by deborahmmunengami on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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