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Band 6

Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. Q: What is your opinion?

#space #exploration #money #q
Nowadays,
space
 research is loads of money
ought
Correct word choice
and ought
show examples
 to be
expand
Wrong verb form
expanded
show examples
 on
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 crucial
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. In my point of view, I completely disagree which is not essential and I will argue why all these investigations should be reduced by developed great states. First of all, there have been immense advances in aerospace engineering,
however
 by
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
research it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a huge impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 natural
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
 which is lead to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 amount of ozone layer in the atmosphere.
moreover
, every year a considerable number of
Add an article
the rocket
show examples
rocket
Fix the agreement mistake
rockets
show examples
 have been
sending
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
 to
space
 which is resulted
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
creating
Replace the word
creation
show examples
 of
ozone
Correct article usage
an ozone
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 layer hole.
Additionally
, layers of
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
show examples
 are exposed to pollution with participles by rocket launching and it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a negative impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
show examples
.
Therefore
, it should be
fund
Wrong verb form
funded
show examples
 to recover the environment and create
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 in
this
 situation.
Secondly
, people who have been paying many billions
Change preposition
of dollar
show examples
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
 to learn
everthing
Correct your spelling
everything
 about
space
,
galaxy
Fix the agreement mistake
galaxies
show examples
, and
star
Fix the agreement mistake
stars
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should stop to waste it, because
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
recently, a lot of
human
Change to a plural noun
humans
show examples
 have been suffering starvation. In
this
 case, they should begin to help them and rich
governmet
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 or people are able to support them by giving
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
new education life and Africa is a clear example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that.
To conclude
, it does not necessary to
send
Correct your spelling
spend
show examples
 lots of missiles to
galaxy
Correct article usage
the galaxy
show examples
 I am totally
againts
Correct your spelling
against
this
space
analising
Correct your spelling
analysing
 like most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
. In
this
 regard,
billions
Add the preposition
ofbillions
show examples
 dollars have to invest on
earth
Correct your spelling
Earth
show examples
 doing more useful jobs not
waste
Wrong verb form
wasting
show examples
 money in order to
space
researching
Change the form of the verb
research
show examples
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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