Some people believe we should visit place to know the culture whereas others think internet and books are good source of information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The importance of learning culture by using the internet and books which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial
while
others reject
this
notion. The substantial influence of
this
trend has sparked controversy over
the
Change the word
its
show examples
potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, visiting a
place
to understand culture appears to be more rational but practically not possible.
This
essay will
further
elaborate my views and
thus
lead to a logical conclusion. Both positive and negative effects and
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the first and foremost reason behind
this
is that visiting a
place
gives first-hand information which is easy to understand. Another striking benefit in
this
regard is that it gives practical experience which is retainable. Categorically
discussing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind
this
is that the quality, custom and tradition can be different from one
place
to another.
However
, there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments and which can certainly overwhelm the potential influence of
this
trend but one of the most alarming ones is that there is a shortage of time, and distances are more, so visiting a
place
is practically not possible.
Moreover
, books and the internet provide authentic information with relevant examples to make the understanding better.
Hence
it is apparent that visiting a
place
to know the culture is not feasible.
According to
the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach the conclusion that the benefits of books and the internet are instrumental indeed.
Nevertheless
, its potential drawbacks should not be overlooked either.
Submitted by isumiah3 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential. However, the introduction and conclusion have some redundancy. Try to eliminate repetitive phrases to improve clarity.
task achievement
You have provided relevant points for both views, but you need to add more specific examples to support your arguments. Examples help illustrate your points and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but some ideas lack coherence. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your transitions between ideas are smooth. You can use transition words like 'on the other hand,' 'moreover,' or 'in contrast' to improve logical flow.
task achievement
Some phrases in your essay are very general and can be made more specific. For instance, instead of 'Another striking benefit in this regard is that it gives practical experience which is retainable,' you could say, 'Another benefit is that visiting a place allows people to interact with locals, making the cultural experience more memorable and authentic.'
introduction conclusion present
Your essay introduction correctly sets the stage by mentioning the debate and your personal opinion, which is a good strategy.
complete response
The essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, showing that you have considered multiple perspectives. This makes your discussion balanced and comprehensive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • authentic
  • firsthand experience
  • real-time interaction
  • cultural nuances
  • convenient
  • comprehensive
  • diverse perspectives
  • accessible alternatives
  • personal and emotional connection
  • merits
  • limitations
  • supplemented
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