IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In their advertising business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative devlopment? write at least 250 words.

#business #emphasise #products #devlopment
In
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 contemporary world, there are a lot of products which are new things and all of them have been
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
 advertisements. In my point of view, it is obviously noticed in developing and developed countries. In
this
 essay, I will explain
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what its reason is and
is
Correct word choice
if is
show examples
 there any development in
this
 condition. First of all, there have been immense advances in the advertisement work and
severeal
Correct your spelling
several
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
companies
tent
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
 to show their products in order to sell and achieve the highest level.
in
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
additionally
, a clear example is
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
 that in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries especially developed ones
such
 as America and China are in a
tecnological
Correct your spelling
technological
 contest.
By contrast
,
one
 of the advertising
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 food
business
while
Correct word choice
which
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has been
continue
Change the verb form
continuing
continued
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 2 decades.
Moreover
, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies are producing
different
Change the article
a different
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of goods.
Secondly
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
this
business
 has negative development and at
this
 time it is going to influence negatively
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Earth. On
one
 hand in
Correct article usage
the tecnological
show examples
tecnological
Correct your spelling
technological
business
 every month produce new mobile phones with
a little differences
Correct the article-noun agreement
a little difference
little differences
show examples
.
However
, people attempt to buy
one
 and they throw away another
one
.
At
Change preposition
As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, there are loads of wasted phones and which are
also
 new
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
For example
, China is
fulled
Replace the word
full
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
garbages
Correct subject-verb agreement
garbage
show examples
 with phones or
tecnological
Correct your spelling
technological
 products.
To conclude
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the highest level
advitement
Correct your spelling
advisement
advancement
business
 which
is improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 two way , both
tecnological
Correct your spelling
technological
 and food advertisement and there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
negative effects to the world.
Submitted by sadiqlisara95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: