IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Opinion essay questions: “prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

#questions #“prevention #cure” #diseases #measures
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The famous quote “prevention is better than cure” holds significant weight, especially in the context of
healthcare
. In my perspective, investing in preventative measures can indeed be more cost-effective and beneficial in the long run compared to the high costs associated with treating
diseases
.
Firstly
, preventative measures
such
 as vaccinations, regular
health
 screenings, and public
health
 campaigns can significantly reduce the incidence of
diseases
.
For instance
, widespread vaccination programs have eradicated or controlled
diseases
 like influenza and polio, saving countless lives and reducing
healthcare
 costs.
Furthermore
, regular screenings can detect
diseases
 like cancer at an early stage when they are more treatable and less expensive to manage.
Additionally
, promoting healthy lifestyles through education and community programs can prevent chronic
diseases
such
 as diabetes, heart disease, and obesity. Encouraging individuals to take up physical activities and a balanced diet can lead to a healthier population, reducing the burden on
healthcare
 systems.
However
, it is essential to acknowledge that prevention alone cannot eliminate all
health
 issues. Some cancers and
diseases
,
such
 as
down
Capitalize word
Down
show examples
 syndrome, are unpredictable or have genetic factors that cannot be prevented.
Therefore
, research and development
inmedical
Correct your spelling
in medical
 treatments remain crucial for dealing with various cases of patients and managing the problems that cannot be easily dealt with. In conclusion,
while
 prevention should be a primary focus
due to
 its cost-effectiveness and potential to improve public
health
, it needs to be supported by strong
healthcare
 systems that can effectively handle
diseases
 when they arise. Investing in both prevention and cure ensures a comprehensive approach to
health
, ultimately leading to a healthier and more sustainable society.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure seamless transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Consider elaborating on how the cost-effectiveness of prevention can be measured or compared to treatment costs for added depth.
Task Achievement
Proofread for minor grammatical errors and ensure consistent use of terminology.
Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are strong and effectively frame the essay.
Supported Main Points
The essay provides clear and relevant examples supporting the argument.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
The main points are well-supported and articulated, demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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