Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?
As an AI language model, I can provide you with some feedback and suggestions to improve your IELTS writing
task
.
Overall
, your essay
provides a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, and you have addressed the topic of the task
. However
, there are some areas that you can improve upon.
Firstly
, you need to work on your grammar and sentence structure. There are several grammatical errors in your essay
, which can affect the clarity of your message. For example
, in the first sentence of your second paragraph, you say "people
are using different things like plastic stuff." Correct your spelling
People
Instead
, you could write "People
use a variety of items, such
as plastic products, food and beverage cans, paper, and metals, which can be recycled."
Secondly
, you need to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your argument. For instance
, you mention that people
throw garbage in the streets and in the sea, but you could elaborate further
by providing statistics or news articles to demonstrate the impact of this
behavior
on the environment and wildlife. Change the spelling
behaviour
Moreover
, you suggest that Germany has implemented policies that reward recycling, but you should provide more information about these policies and their effectiveness to strengthen your argument.
Finally
, you need to address the opposing view more explicitly. The prompt asks you to discuss "to what extent laws are needed to make people
recycle more of their waste," but you have only focused on the benefits of government intervention without acknowledging any potential drawbacks or limitations. Therefore
, you could include a paragraph that presents the counterargument and then
refute it with evidence or reasoning.
In terms of rating, I would give your essay
a score of around 6 out of 9 for Task
Response, 5 out of 9 for Coherence and Cohesion, 5 out of 9 for Lexical Resource, and 4 out of 9 for Grammar. These scores are based on the IELTS band descriptors for Writing Task
2, which assesses your ability to respond to the task
, organize your ideas logically, use a range of vocabulary appropriately, and demonstrate accuracy in grammar and punctuation.
To improve your essay
, you could practice writing more essays under timed conditions and seek feedback from a tutor or native speaker. Additionally
, you could read sample essays and analyze their structure, language use, and argumentation to learn from good examples.Submitted by hishamlatrobe3 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!