IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, people are living in a “throwaway society” where things are used for a short time and thrown away. What are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to?

#countries #people #“throwaway #society” #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
 age products' use times are decreasing obviously. I can clearly say that it is going to be a huge problem for the next generations. In
this
 essay, I am going to explain what the causes are of these problems and which kind of problems we deal with in the
close
Correct word choice
near
show examples
 future.
To begin
 with causes,
one
 of the important issues is fast
fashion
. Many types of research show that the
fashion
 industry is
one
 of the most harmful industries all over the world. It uses too much water supply and unrecyclable material. Especially young spend a lot of money on fast
fashion
 products and they wear them less than 10 times. Even though it was cheap clothing, wearing only
one
 season is a huge waste.
Secondly
, getting an item is way too easy , many
people
 even don't try to fix the broken
one
instead
 of buying a new
one
.
While
 elder
people
 experienced poverty more than
gen z
Correct your spelling
Gen Z
show examples
 or millennials they are more careful with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
garment
Fix the agreement mistake
garments
show examples
 and mostly avoid buying new items. It is a fact that, if
people
 continue to live like
this
, there will be lots of issues.
For example
, water supplies are going to run out as big companies use uncontrolled amounts of water and throw the waste into seas or oceans. Depending on that, algae and other sea creatures will get seriously damaged. As algae are significant to oxygen, the CO2 levels will increase
while
 O2 is decreasing. Plus many factories release CO2 as waste. All these issues will gather up in global warming because it is directly related to the density of gases in the air.
To sum up
, nowadays many
people
 use their stuff for a shorter time. Fast
fashion
 and lack of garments might be the main reasons and our planet is in danger. If we
don't
Verb problem
aren't
show examples
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
careful about the environment there
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be a serious response from
mother nature
Correct your spelling
Mother Nature
show examples
.
Submitted by ebeyza34 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of the introduction and conclusion to provide a clearer organization of ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that all aspects of the task are addressed completely, and provide more specific examples to support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: