People should look after their health as a duty for a society, rather than for personal benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #health #duty #society

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With the development of science and technology comes better

health

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care for human

society

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. It is opening up a possibility for everyone to have a better life. There is

also

Linking Words

some opinion that

people

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should look after their

health

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as a duty for

society

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, rather than for their own benefit. But I think

Remove the comma

apply

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I can hardly agree with

this

Linking Words

view because of some reasons. Today,

although

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in many countries, residents are given supply better

health

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protection with better medical facilities and measurements, in many poor and developing countries, the number of

people

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who can hardly access sufficient living standards

Verb problem

apply

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still

remaining

Wrong verb form

remains

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at a high rate. So

instead

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of thinking that self-care is a duty for

society

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, we need to change our thought that

society

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needs to take responsibility for humans'

health

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For example

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, international organizations like WHO or UNICEF have provided many supplies for governments to improve their basic medical facilities and instruments for their whole countries.

In addition

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, having good

health

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provides

people

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with a sustainable background to do everything they want like sports, entertainment and work. It is possible for us to gain a lot of experience and expertise in our specific occupation with strong and unavoidable

health

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Furthermore

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, having good physical and mental conditions makes

people

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enjoy their lives without anxiety and depression.

For instance

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, many patients hope to come through illness fast in order to come back to

interesting

Correct article usage

an interesting

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and convenient daily life.

This

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is why

people

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should take care of themselves for their personal benefit, rather than see it as a responsibility. In a nutshell, Self-care is very important when you are living in a community but you should not suppose it is a duty of

society

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. It should be seen as a motivation for you to have a lovely life.

Submitted by hihihahahoho on Mon Apr 24 2023

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task response

Make sure to address all parts of the essay question in a clear and concise manner.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the logical structure of the essay follows a clear and cohesive progression of ideas.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

duty
well-being
burden
healthcare systems
productive
economy
example
empower
informed choices

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People should look after their health as a duty for a society, rather than for personal benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The movements of people from villages to the cities for work has caused a lots of problems in both places . What are the serious problem associated with this? What measures can he taken to solve these problems?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is betger to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

many musseums charge for admission while others are free. do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweight the disadvantages?